Hello. Shalom. That's about all the Hebrew or Yiddish I know. I am the black sheep of this app, so bear with me. I do not know all the words you guys use. All I know is that I have a sexual lust problem and I need more community and fellowship. 
So, here goes. 

I began P&M at age 12. I found my dad's stash under his bed. I used it to escape from my fears, my anger, my insecurities. However, I know now, it made life worse. 
I went to a Bible college after graduation. It was there I found temporary freedom form the use of sexual content to fill my longings. I realized: I need connection! 
I had the connection with my fellow believers for 4 years. Then I got married and moved out of state. 
After being married, I thought that would solve everything. Instead, I wanted more!! 
I sought p&m more. And when that wasn't enough, I sought out anonymous hook-ups. I hit rock bottom when my wife found my fake email and fake social media account. 
We separated. And that was the first of many times. 

Fast forward: 
After our last separation, I sought recovery and fellowship through SA. I have been attending and serving and leading meetings overall for over 5 years. 
I have a great sponsor and a couple sponsees. 
I still struggle and have fallen a few times since January of this year. But, I know what I need and am taking action steps to stay focused on recovery. 

I am expecting to have my first child in a couple weeks and I do not want to bring this into its world. I want to be a father like my Father in the heavens, heavenly places. I want to continue to serve my wife, my family, and Hashem. 
I know I might not belong to this group. But I'm trying anyways. 
I look forward to talking with all of you. 

Reach out to me if you have any questions or comments, or just want to know more about me. 
Thanks. 

P.S. My name is actually Jonathan R. 

Hi Jonathan!
As this site can be seen by anyone, I would suggest you keep your identity somewhat concealed
You sound a wonderful person who has really worked on growing and understanding yourself. 
This place is a wonderful place, but, in my experience it has not been very helpful for those who are using the 12 step program to deal with their addiction. For them, many of the messages here can be confusing. My own advice would be, the 12 step program worked for you, so keep working that program, do the steps, apply yourself fully to it, and may G-d shower your efforts with loads of success, and may you build  beautiful family that brings only honor to G-ds name
With friendship,
Eerie
P.s. Feel free to reach out to the email in my signature for whatever

jonatrosse1024 wrote on 16 Jun 2025 06:25:

Welcome to GYE!
Everyone of all levels of jewish backgrounds and religious affiliations belong on this forum. That being said, I can say as a fellow SAer that eerie is correct that much of the info here is counter-productive to those in SA. That doesn't mean you don't belong here just bear in mind that you will have to be your own filter to figure out what is helpful to you and what isn't.
Enjoy and keep in touch with the guys!

Hey friends. 
I have a request to anyone reading this. 
Since I do not know much of what you all mean when you use Yiddish words, can someone volunteer to teach me some of the more commonly used words you all use here? 
Thank you so much. I just want to be a part of this, but it's just difficult being the outsider. 

Daven/davening -pray/the act of prayer
learn/learning -the study of torah
Gemorah -the talmud
Chumash -The 5 books of Moses
The oilam -literaly the world, an expression to mean the guys
Daf Yomi -the study of a daily page (double sided of talmud)
Amud Yomi -the study of a single sided page of talmud a day
halachah -Jewish law
Rav -rabbi
Rebbe -also means rabbi
Shul -synagouge
sefer/sefarim -torah book/books

Truly, the simplest thing to do is whenever you feel lost, chime in with a question.
One of our friendly dementors will get back to you with 5-7 business days.
We're all in this together

bochur -single guy usually in yeshiva
IY"H -abriviation for Im Yertzeh Hashem, If G-d wants it or G-d willing
Yiras shamayim -fear/awe of heaven(G-d)
Kal Yisrael -the nation of Israel aka jewish people
Shabbos -sabbath
Motzei Shabbos -sat. night after the Sabbath ends
Shacharis -morning prayer
Minchah -afternoon prayer
Maariv -night prayer
Minyan - 10 adult males (over the age of 13) to pray with
Chas Veshalom -G-d forbid
Yiddishkiet  -judaism

Hey Jonathan. We are a family that is here to help you should you need. This is the most supportive family. Keep posting and we'll be your boost!

Thank you, brothers. 

Jonathan, I am having trouble messaging you.
Do you have a rav?

I am not allowed to message anyone until the next 7 days in GYE. Unless you meant email. I will get back to emails today. Thanks!