Today's Hayom Yom
א מענטש דארף מרבה זיין אין זאגען אותיות התורה (זאגען תהלים, חזר'ן משניות) ווען און וואו ער קען, בכדי צו שטארקען דעם קיום העולם, בכדי מציל צו זיין זיך פון חיבוט הקבר און כף הקלע, און זוכה זיין צו אלע העכסטע גילוים. One must recite words of Torah copiously, saying Tehillim or verbally reviewing Mishna whenever and wherever possible, in order to bolster the existence of Creation, to be saved from chibut hakever and kaf hakela, and to merit all the highest revelations.

I'm not thinking about the kaf hakela after 120 but this can probably also help our day to day kaf hakela when we go from being in the world of torah and being a good person to the complete opposite extreme where we follow our eyes and thoughts.

Maybe later I'll post more about myself...

Well here goes a victory for me.
I've been strugiving with p and m and other similar tthings for many years and I've tried again and again to stop without success, well part for my problem was probably that I was dishonest with myself and others I was in touch with hhm but I was still hiding... recently I basically didn't have a choice and I need this to stop.
The latest update is that I often couldn't get past 14 days well today is day 14 and I will stay strong

trying23 wrote on 03 Feb 2025 19:59:

Yea i think it helps me to worry more about the kaf hakela in this world buddy!

either way welcome and hatzlocha raba! happy to hear that your at day 14! and yes honesty with oneself is a game changer at least for me! keep it up! keep on growing! and keep us posted!

Welcome to the GYE postin' family!
It is the warmest family in the world!

Here you will find true care, concern, and warmth.
Here you will learn that you CAN break free!
There are many tools here to help you in this fight.
There is the F2F Program, the Vaad Program (click here for an explanation of what the vaad is), and the book The Battle of the Generation - many have found this very helpful in reframin' the struggle.
The Vaad can be a great way of connectin' with other guys.


There is also an extremely powerful tool of accountability, friends, and mentors, as has been mentioned, that has helped hundreds - myself included.
HHM - Hashem Help Me - is the mentor-in-chief around here. He's reachable at michelgelner@gmail.com.
Some of the other great guys here are Eerie - 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com, Muttel - muttel15@gmail.com,   Reb Akiva - mevakesh247@gmail.com iwantlife - iwantlifegye@proton.me minhamayim - minhamayim1@gmail.com 

Keep postin', you'll see, the oilam is here for you.

Lookin' forward to seeing great things from you!
And don't forget, as always, KOMT!!

Thank you, I've bh been in touch with hhm.
I found some threads to be very inspiring and also seems like it can be a big help so I decided to try it out myself although I'm not sure I'll keep up to it.

A little about me, I grew up in a sheltered lubavich home with a good class but got introduced to the idea of intimacy from 5th grade and I began to fantasize and m I feel that I always knew it was wrong but couldn't bring myself to stop.I got married and I don't really remember it getting too much better but from time to time would discuss it with my wife and with her encouragement would in general feel better. About 2/3 years after marriage there were some triggers for me which started to get worse (not thinking to elaborate much on public forum) so needing more effort I found gye but didn't use to full potential and almost forgot about it though I was still putting in a bit of work (perhaps just to make myself feel good and tell my wife I'm doing something...) So I was in touch with r' hhm but not being fully honest with (myself or) him and things still got worse a few months ago it got to a point where it was being suggested that I maybe should consider sa not wanting that I agreed to therapy which I've been going to weekly for a few months (not sure I know where it's going) it was still pretty bad at this point about a month ago I decided to go back on gye and try to do a program like f2f and I reached out to r' hhm again and he put me in touch with someone local so I met with him and BH I'm 26 days in.I'm not sure exactly what my plan is (thinking to try posting here and get in touch with others) I just know that I'm desperate and can't afford to go back there and I'm super inspired from some of the threads I read.I want to wish hatzlocho to myself and everyone else and hope to use this as well as a way to help.

Hi and welcome.
See the quote in my signature.

Feel free to PM me

How do you pm?

Welcome! 
To me, GYE means hope. 
Reading the threads here, you will be able  to believe thay you, too, can break free. 

And the battle is easier when you’re together with friends who understand. 

Here’s a warm hand. Hazlacha! 

Chaim Oigen

trying23 wrote on 16 Feb 2025 17:29:

Right under the username profile it lists streaks, number of posts, and karma. Under that there are 2 small icons, a small person and a quote box. The quote box is the PM. 

Welcome to the forums! We're looking to get to know you. The main pitfall of this struggle is the isolation that the YH puts you in. Here we can break out of that isolation by reaching out to like minded individuals that have been there and will understand you so well. Kudos to you for reaching out to HHM and taking that first step and breaking out of the wall of shame. May it be the first step of many in your journey of breaking free completely. Hatzlacha Rabbah!

trying23 wrote on 16 Feb 2025 00:39:

I don't know if you are an addict or not, but if you are then SA is the only option (and by far the quickest, happiest, and most fulfilling) therapy will not help for an addict. Going to an SA meeting can be terrifing but part of the whole point is to break down the ego and double life you lead which is the root cause of acting out. Going to meetings and being completely honest in public there will make you more humble and honest to yourself and those closest to you. You may want to join Dov's Desparados call first (contact GYE for info on that) Dov's calls will definetly make you more willing to go to in person meetings

Hatzlachah!

azivashacheit101 wrote on 17 Feb 2025 19:24:

I don't know what the exact translation for "addict" is, but I've seen some guys that were pretty deep in to this stuff (including risking significant things), who by the grace of G-d, with the help of friends, are clean for a long time. I've spoken to a few people who went to SA, but didn't find that it worked for them. When they reached out to folks here they found that they were more successful. I'm sure that there are many examples the other way around as well. There are pros and cons to every מהלך, and I'd hesitate to paint a broad statement of "the only way that will work is ......." Different ways work for different people. May Hashem guide you to the one that works best for you.

Thank You, you're right I should not be knock other mehalchim, but I do think people need to be open to SA if other things are not working for them.

I didn't say I won't go to sa, if that's what seems is necessary then I'll have to do it, I also really didn't want to go to therapy but started.
bh right now I'm almost at 30 days and this time I was much more careful in regards to looking around on the street etc. And I hope to continue being proactive and open to suggestions.