Time2Win, thank you for sharing your story, I really feel for you. Even as you are struggling with your faith, your mental and emotional sanity, your marriage, etc. etc. you are strengthening our faith.

From personal experience, I can vouch that even the strongest faith can be tested under the right circumstances, especially when life grinds you down year after year, and things seem to just keep getting worse. But I also know deeply from experience, despite not walking in your shoes, that if you were given all these challenges they were meant for you, and with the right time and work you will become a better version of yourself than you could ever imagine - as a result of your struggles. 

My only advice, again from experience, is never give up on yourself or the hope for a brighter future, however long it takes.  You and I can't know how it will happen, but the fact that your marriage survived despite all odds is proof that other areas in your life will turn around as well.  

Keep trucking, keep posting, and keep believing in a better future for yourself and your family.