Hi. New here.Will this program help me? Has it helped anyone? or has it just made it easier for a frum shomer Torah uMitzvos man to deal with his unmanagable guilt feelings that a frum yid experiences when he sees that he is nichshol in viewing terrible things (or for those who have acted out on serious aveiros)to deal with terrible  guilt. and to keep on trucking with their Torah and Mitzvos and help struggle with the negative feelings that prevent him from living a productive  family,social and Torah life,and continue nurturing his relationship with Hashem even though he has fallen . Im not looking for perfection ,but id like to know if i can hope to be clean not only of porn and masturbation, but also to be pure of viewing women for pleasure as well as well as fantasizing erotic thoughts. are there any sucessful members here who have reached that goal?
Thank you and hatzlacha.

guardyouriz wrote on 01 May 2024 20:09:

Hi and welcome to GYE!
I'll try to address your points:

Will this program help me?
It might. If you use this program correctly, and commit to put in the effort needed, then you have strong chances. 
If You Work It, It Works!  This is the Science Behind Recovery success. 

Has it helped anyone?
You bet! There are many many people on GYE that have turned their lives around 360 degrees. You can follow and read many of these success stories here on the forum. 

Hashem is extremely proud of anyone who takes this battle seriously and makes progress in this area. Progress, not perfection.

another worry i have with this program is that mind is a little maxed out with my daily schedule.

• i BH try to learn alot throughout my day even though im not in kollel as of now
• i work
• dealing with life,wife kids BH
• im learning a complicated trade
• i have diffirent health issues that takes a lot of my time

i dont really have any mental energy to learn new tricks in this battle

i see GYE is rich in tricks and methods how to quit porn and m and histaklus etc  i would like to use the good old tried and true methods of dealing with bad habits and taavos that i am familiar with  like musar, tefilah and Torah and to daily increase ones Awareness of Hashem and love and gratitude to Him and Yiras Shamayim. true,they may not bring me to perfection in these matters ,but from what i understand GYE will not bring me to perfection either. it has even been mentioned that ones goal should not even be perfection since it is the enemy of the good.
am i a goner?c"v
bhatzlacha

thank you davidt for your words of chizuk . i am logging out now but i would like to reply to your post.if anyone reply's to my post ,i wont be able to respond maybe even till tomorrow since i wont have access,but i will be reading it  on email since i am subscribed to this forum

guardyouriz wrote on 01 May 2024 20:34:

You not a goner חס ושלום! 
You got one of the best tools working for you which is "keeping very busy". The Gemara teaches us "הבטלה מביאה לידי שעמום והשעמום מביא לידי חטא" 
Do what works for you without obsessing about it too much.
Take this tip:
Every single time you control yourself, you've reached perfection. ​

davidt wrote on 01 May 2024 20:20:

that sounds great!
"Hashem is extremely proud of anyone who takes this battle seriously and makes progress in this area. Progress, not perfection."
that sounds great as well!
my question is ,
does one have to use the GYE methods of turning ones life around  360 to have a success story?
is Hashem extremely proud of someone  who takes this battle seriously only if he uses the GYE methods?
is my not looking at porn , and masterbating during Pesach by useing my methods not a success story ?
is Hashem not  extremely proud of me as well?
is it "GYE way or the highway?
now i understand if someone were to enter a 12 step meeting or mindfulness meeting and ask"can i work on these struggles with other methods and not 12steps/mindfulness?" the audience were be disturbed and the head would say,"hey , if you have another method,go for it.here in this room we are discussing the 12step/mindfulness method".
so here  on gye am i suggestig other methods? the answer is CV im not  suggeting to others mto replace methods that will replace gye methods. and just asking hadracha forme. can i hope of being succesful of turning my life around 360 and making Hashem extremely proud of me by using my methods ? are there any success stories on gye that has used my methods and seen success?
too repeat ,am i a goner if i plan on using my methods?

why don't you tell us how your methods have worked thus far

guardyouriz wrote on 01 May 2024 20:09:

btw,  gye, accomplishes much more than the things that i have mentioned above.but even if thats all that gye has accomplished,DAYAYNU!

horizon wrote on 01 May 2024 21:23:

i havent viewed porn before pesach and during pesach which made a tremendous difference with my pesach sedarim ,davening, and learning and family life BH. i think thats success and something that Hashem was proud of . i even had a streak of no masturbation for 90 days. no porn either but i had no access ,so  i agree thats not a big deal.

wow thats tremendous!
very cool that you did 90 days

with my question i meant to say, that if your methods are working for you, then amazing. i'm not sure what you need from gye. if they aint working, it's shayech gye has something to offer that will. 

keep up the good work!

guardyouriz wrote on 01 May 2024 20:09:

There is no specific end goal.  The goal is to keep increasing kedusha.  Bh gye has been a big part of my journey, and I am very far removed from the life. I once was totally absorbed in.

Hi. 
Sorry, I usually jump in with warm encouragement. But something doesn’t add up. You signed up today. And yet you seem to think you already have a comprehensive enough picture to be critically questioning the very premise of GYE actually helping, and wondering if it’s perhaps just a way for people to assuage their feelings while “keeping trucking”, etc.  And that people will criticise you for using different methods than those used here. How do you know so much about GYE in your very first post? Why the implied bitterness about us? 

Like Vehkam said, every positive step forwards in Kedusha is an accomplishment that lasts for eternity. There are folks here struggling to break free of the worst addictions, and fellows here for Chizzuk in growing further in significant Madreigos in Kedusha. Any plenty of folks  in between. I’m sure there’s a place for you to find friends and inspiration, and even to grow. The sky is the limit to the growth here, you’ll see If you read some threads. This is a ladder that reaches the heavens. There are some true Tzaddikim here. 

And if, by some chance, you’ve been here before, (or if not), and if this hallowed place is not for you, that’s is fine too. -For then I will wish you only fair winds and following seas to wherever your voyage may lead you. 

But please don’t be negative about GYE and the good folks here.

מאן דבעי חיים

Vehkam wrote on 02 May 2024 02:13:

yes,GYE BH is a heaven sent yeshua!

horizon wrote on 01 May 2024 21:56:

i'm not sure what you need from gye.

one thing that i feel what i can gain from gye is the comrade that is here and one can open up about struggles.as well one can give and get encouragement from this wonderful gye community!

chaimoigen wrote on 02 May 2024 04:05:

im sorry if i sounded negative in my post .gye is doing great things .i will never deny that ! i wouldnt consider myself knowledgeable on anything . im just basing my opinion on what i have read on all the gye content thats available before signing up.if there is any problem here, the problem is with me ,not gye!
working alone in this battle is very lonely and  id like to join the gye community but i feel guilty joining gye if im not planning im going for the full gye package thats all . as i explained im not into alot of gye programs due to many circumstances in my life and nature  as i explained in my first post.
as davidt said there are alot of ways to deal with this battle, if the shoe fits,wear it .
happy trucking!