true_self wrote on 07 Dec 2023 21:34:

thanks for your brachos and encouragement.

i dont write that becuase 
1 im terrible at writing and conveying my thoughts.
2 i dont have much time and koach to write.
(i only saw this post now)

Buddy, you are a hero.

Mazal Tov on the new baby, on the new life. 

You’re special. Please try to articulate your thoughts. They help us all! 

Bright, I missed your question before. The answer to how my hands stay warm is that I always keep holding on to other good Chevra here  

Its probably enough for you, but not for me;)

hi
its been a long time since i last updated.
ive been around a bit on the forum but haven't posted here.
B"h im continuing doing well.

i have been having lots of urges and challenges (sometimes ore sometimes less), ive B"h been pretty consistent in either outright ignoring them (and thereby not allowing it to grow) or telling it "go away dont come back another day".

ive noticed how alot of the urges ive been getting recently are different then what i used to have.
​whereas previously i would have the pull to masturbate i now get the pull to go be masturbater , in other words theres this feeling to go be and act as someone other then who i am.
and whereas previously i would fantasize about doing X/Y/Z with X/Y/Z now i get the urge to fantasize or a fantasy comes in (before i shoot it down) about being in a life where i will do X/Y/Z.
itll come to my mind the feeling of oh how i wish to go back and be the person watching movies ect.
in other words alot of my current urges and pulls are pulls to me as a outsider calling me to get in vs urges to do what i do and what i need.

on the other hand i have been recenly getting this creeping feeling "ok youve had your nice time now lets get back to real life, do you really think your done with this?! sooner or later you'll be back in either way".

so while i do know that its not true and real lasting change is possible, it definitely is a very good trick on his side and i really gotta fortify myself against him.

Ps. sorry that my writing is not good and it may not be so clear, i thought that something is better then nothing.

Excellently written buddy. It is great that you now view the urges as coming from the outside instead of the urges being the real you. That is how we are supposed to view the yetzer hara in general. The nostalgic feeling of "if only i could taste that stuff again" is normal and expected. No need to fear it or panic from it. 

Your amazing! The journey to freedom is paved with many stages. This is one of them. Keep running for the light!

We really missed you!

Sorry that I don't have time to read your post, but I'll be more than happy to hear your voice again!

Bh doing well.
by now its been 4 months already!!

zzz613 wrote on 11 Jan 2024 04:04:

Just seeing this now. Such a powerful perception. And it’s Chizzuk. These are not things you do anymore. They are things maybe you would fantasize about doing. That’s completely different . 
Growth is great. Mazal Tov on 4 months! 
Many Many more!!! 

This is the real, 
Chaim