I very much relate to what you are saying about feeling a rejuvenation after falling to restart as thats just what happened to me.
It wasnt after 50 days but it was after a period of time i never thought possible. I also found myself hanging around those yellow zones that you mentioned (did you see me there?).
So how do we maintain the fire after a good amount of days and we're feeling dry and uninspired?
Idk, but let's find out!

Today is 10 days since my fall and I want to provide an update. 
I really do not feel like I fell. In many ways, it feels like a continuation from before the fall. I just picked myself up and continued where I last left off. Guarding my eyes is going great, and overall the urges have been getting weaker. 
I think I got this now. I can make it to day 90!

remaininganonymous26 wrote on 11 Sep 2023 22:08:

With cautious optimism, Tefilla and help from Hashem, connection to friends, yes you CAN!!
KOMT!

remaininganonymous26 wrote on 11 Sep 2023 22:08:

Please don't become complacent; "I'm already in a good place, I don't need to be vigilant anymore". COMPLACENCY IS THE BEGINNING OF YOUR LAST CLEAN DAY. While this day can sometimes last a while, if we're complacent, it's just a matter of time before we get caught off guard.
Take the journey one day at a time. You might have times of sheer elation, times of utter frustration and times of vulnerability when you’ll think that all your success might evaporate. Buckle up and get ready for the journey of a lifetime!

I made it to day 20 now, and it is going really well. Something I am trying to do is make sure I am always on my toes when I know I will be in a place that will challenge my shmiras einayim. I find that when I am extra extra careful outside, I also become extra careful on my computer. Not sure if others have the same experience. I hope to post again when I get to day 30!

A Gutten Moed! How are you doing, my friend? Thinking about you!

Hi. Thanks for checking in on me! I meant to post a day or two ago, but been really busy.
I am doing great bh! Still staying strong, and made it past 30 days! I feel like the fight gets easier by the day, and in some ways, it is almost like second nature not to look. I also am trying to not become complacent, and keep up the fight every single day. Overall, my shmiras einayim on the screen and in the streets have been stronger than ever!
A thought that dawned on me over yom kippur, and not sure if anyone else had the same experience in their journey. I was thinking about the changes I made this year and the battlefield I entered a short while ago, and I noticed a major change of mindset that happened. When I began a few months ago, my goal was to never turn back and to make it to 90 days and beyond. I wanted to clean myself, and the reason I did not look at inappropriate images was because then I would not be clean for the 90 days or year or whatever time streak I decided to prove to myself that I am clean. Now, the reason I don't look is not because of 90 days or even to keep clean. It is because I totally believe this dirt is beneath me, and as much as I am flesh and blood (that sometimes makes mistakes and falls), I am a tzelem elokim who is above the disgusting content on the internet. 
I was shocked by this change of mindset, but it feels really good to recognize it is not about being clean, but about the bigger picture of being a true eved Hashem. The way I get there now is by staying clean and fighting, but the bigger picture is so much more important and is what now drives me in the fight.
Wondering if anyone has any thoughts on this and looking forward to posting again on day 40! 

I am posting for my day 40, and unfortunately, I fell yesterday. It is really hard to fall (especially without making it to 90 days, and this is not my first fall), and bh I am trying to pick myself back up and keep on climbing. I figured I would try to explain what happened with a more positive message to hopefully motivate myself and others.

After the news of what happened in Israel spread, I felt deep emotional pain. Wonderful pain, pain of noseh biol im chaveiro, pain of achdus. I found myself crying at random times over the terrible matzav we are in now. I always knew boredom and stress were a trigger of mine, but I never knew emotional pain was another one. I began having urges like never before, asking me to medicate the pain with something that would make me feel good, an easy shot into my brain to ease the pain of the world around me. It was REALLY REALLY hard. And I am proud to say- I did it- I controlled myself with these crazy urges for TWO DAYS! I had a slip and noticed myself sliding closer and closer, so I made a taphsic for a bit, which definitely helped. I fell after the taphsic was over. I could have taken another taphsic but I didnt- I think it was a subconscious way of just ending my own internal suffering, of all the pain together with the urges were too much for me. I learned from this experience a new trigger of mine, and I hope this will help me in the future. And I did some good work on the battlefield for two days, and although I may have lost the battle now, I am going to win the war!
Moving forward, I think I am going to try to take longer-term taphsics in moments of weakness (I used to take for one day, but now I may try 3-4 days) just to motivate myself a bit more. I hate taking taphsics because I am scared of taking nedarim, but I think that is the point
Let's see how that goes.

I would love to hear any comments, chizzuk or suggestions. Even if you don't have anything to say when you check off the thank you below the comment, I see people encouraging me and it means the world for me and my fight!!!

Just a quick thought that came to mind that I hope gives others chizzuk. In shir hashirim the passuk says shichorah ani vinaava, I am dark and attractive. Although it may be that our neshamos are dark from sin, Hashems sees our fight, and He thinks that we are all beautiful! He sees the struggle and the inner beauty it brings out in us. Hope that inspires someone out there. 
Hope to post again on day 10!

I love your positive attitude in the face of difficulty, we all need to learn from you.
Its beautiful to see how deeply yidden can feel for each other.

Amazing, thanks for sharing, you're a great inspiration to fight like a warrior!

I think the next step would be to figure out or to learn a tool to be able to push away the passion, or avoid it, instead of needing to fight so strong. I think this is what some would refer to as white knuckling.

It is day 12 now and I wanted to give an update.

After my fall, I was filled with shame and guilt about what happened. I questioned myself if my expectations were realistic and if I would ever make it to 90 days or be clean long term. I watched some of the Flight 2 freedom videos about shame and guilt, and it really motivated me to pick up and continue fighting. I strengthened my computer filter and filled in some of the gaps where I would be able to slip or fall. Hope that helps next time.

Bh so far it is going great. The best thing I learned so far was how to contain a fall and keep it short. That way, I can pick myself up and continue journeying in freedom. It makes it much easier to keep up the momentum of being clean.

Looking forward to hearing from others and posting on day 20! 

Mazel Tov! Keep it up.

I am now at 25 days, which means I am a few days late for posting. Bh overall it is going well. I noticed myself slipping a few days ago, so I took a taphsic for the next few days. Overall it worked, but earlier I was looking something up on the internet, and I came across an inappropriate image. I clicked on it (automatically, I did not intend to click it- which is something I definitely have to work on!), and a few seconds later I remembered the taphsic and I immediately stopped. Good thing I was able to control myself (but I think I need to fulfill my taphsic knas anyways). Although I did not fall, I see areas that need further work in my journey. In the future, I hope to go on GYE more often to give myself a bit more momentum and motivation. I also hope to recommit myself to my plan and the distractions that I put in place so I don't need to fight the yetzer hora straight on. Would love to hear what others have to say. Looking forward to posting on day 30!

I am now at 25 days, which means I am a few days late for posting. Bh overall it is going well. I noticed myself slipping a few days ago, so I took a taphsic for the next few days. Overall it worked, but earlier I was looking something up on the internet, and I came across an inappropriate image. I clicked on it (automatically, I did not intend to click it- which is something I definitely have to work on!), and a few seconds later I remembered the taphsic and I immediately stopped. Good thing I was able to control myself (but I think I need to fulfill my taphsic knas anyways). Although I did not fall, I see areas that need further work in my journey. In the future, I hope to go on GYE more often to give myself a bit more momentum and motivation. I also hope to recommit myself to my plan and the distractions that I put in place so I don't need to fight the yetzer hora straight on. Would love to hear what others have to say. Looking forward to posting on day 30!Sounds like you should be telling others what to do do! Great prep work! Just wondering, isn't it advisable to get something to block popups?

I am at almost 40 days, and I am really behind on posting. 
Bh I got a stronger filter, and it is really great! It protects me from popups, and it blocks YouTube. I am still "in the game," but I noticed recently that my overall shmiras einayim has been decreasing. I have not been watching really bad stuff, but both in the street and online, I can really be more careful with what I am looking at. For online, I hope to make a "whitelist" of permitted websites that will not have inappropriate images on them (I hope that lasts...). But does anyone have advice on how I can be michazek myself on the street? On one hand, I feel like this is a "normal man" struggle, but I am afraid that voice is my yetzer hora trying to make me fall. On the other hand, I do not want myself to feel bad if this is a "normal" struggle- I have enough shame and guilt from what I did in the past... But the last thing I want is to be complacent. Any thoughts on my internal conflict?
I also hope to be more on top of posting. I think it really keeps me motivated, and I hope that will help too. All advice and chizuk would be appreciated!