true_self wrote on 23 Dec 2023 21:26:

I know that feeling too well. I always feel that Chanuka and other times when there is a rise in the quantity and size of social gatherings makes me feel lonely and self-conscious. Being with people I don't usually spend time with, in a strange place with a lot of pressure to be "feeling it" or whatever, all make me overthink who I am, whether or not I'm good enough, what I ought to be doing that I'm not etc. And on top of that you lose the sanity of whatever normal structure you have to your day.

On the point of your secret life see below...


I love this method here. Let go a little. Accept that lust is something that cannot be strongarmed off to the side. It will make entrances into your mind with nary a knock on the door. But just like a tantruming three-year-old - the less attention you give, the better off you are. (For chinuch advice please contact me privately ;-))

My dear friend,

You’re a great person, you’re a wonderful husband and you’re a shining Jew!

You’re a superstar! Always reaching out, it’s not easy – sometime we feel like nerds calling a friend because they are busy but sometimes, we can’t think about others, we have to do what’s best for us.

You’re really working on yourself and you are already seeing the sweetness. Brother, I can only promise you that there’s a lot more sweetness at the end of the tunnel (I didn’t reach the end but so am told).

Regarding the isolation on Chanukah (or any social event) – Why you feeling lonely? Because you feel that they not living through what you are, correct? Well, says who? You only know your life because its yours. They know their life because its theirs. The guys thats walking into the party with a goofy smile, while your thinking to yourself why you cant smile, this guy very likely feels just as lonely as you – you just don’t know it therefore you are feeling lonely.

I think that the story of a human being – we only know our life – most likely no one in your life thinks that you are going through what you are, simply because they don’t know you. Same goes for you, you don’t know what goes on by others.

Okay, so now what? How you feeling better from blabber? I’m not sure, but one thing is for sure - What you have done to break free from the bad habits we are all familiar with is phenomenal! The guy with the goofy smile might or might not feel lonely or struggle but what’s more likely than him not struggling is that he might have not taken the steps you did!

In short – we don’t know what others are going through simply because we are nor familiar with their inner life. We also don’t know the steps they have taken to break free. But we do know our inner life because we are familiar with it and we sure know the steps we have taken to break free!

Takeaway – Be nice to everyone because you never know if they are feeling just like you!

Having a crazy horny day, the only reason I'm still clean is because I begged Hashem to grant me another clean day and it seems like he listened. TYH for this gift.
I beg you to restore some sanity to my mind! seriously! there's more than lust/sex/porn/women... in this world, why does everything need to be lust oriented??? sick!

Happy new year everyone! 2024 clean days.

Keep on growing. You got the clean day by hook or by crook. 

Trucking in the wrong direction, it's kinda slippery here.

Thank God miraculously still clean.

My brain is wired to lust.

slippery?
whats the weather @ the slopes?
enjoy the fun!


# IF THE DAY PASSED WITHOUT A CHALLANGE THAT MEANS YOU PASSED AWAY!

cande wrote on 02 Jan 2024 19:18:

o dang. Yesterday was kind of easy. Was i dead?

cande wrote on 02 Jan 2024 19:18:

Hey buddy!

I know it's about time I posted on your thread... but with the wife away and kid on the shoulders, it's quite hard. The little one FINALLY fell asleep, so here I am.

Harav Hatzadik! Wherever I look around on this site... UR THERE! Supporting, being mechazek and always lending a listening ear to others! Quite frankly, you can almost be the moderator... You check up on everyone else, all the time. Thus, it is all the more frustrating when you yourself fall into that dark black hole. 

I would say, read through your encouraging posts you wrote/complemented to others... u'll get inspired just as I have!

KEEP THE TRUCKIN' BUDDY! I want you forever to be a week ahead of me..... FOREVER!!!

- Kleineh Yiftach'l

My Holy Brother,

We all look up to you! You have tremendous strength. It’s the YH that keeps on adding weights to the bar, keep on exercising and one day you'll just walk other to the stand and lift that bar with all the weights as if nothing happened.

You’re an inspiration! Please keep us in the loop,

Another day passed and I'm clean bH despite my multiple attempts to fall, somehow Hashem kept me from falling. At storms with high waves, one minute I'm high up and at the next I'm deep down waiting to be drown but can't bring myself to let go, I keep on holding on tight to the rescuer, it's you Hashem, my daddy that loves me and wants me to have the most enjoyable life possible, I need to learn to trust you with giving me all I need to achieve ultimate happiness!

Thanks Yiftach'l  and heeling for being at my side when I feel so isolated.

I keep on swimming with my head just above the waters of lust....

​Tomorrow is another day.

26

My friend, you are an inspiration! Keep up the amazing work. We are watching you grow, as are the pamalya shel mala

True-self העצם האמתי!!!
You are an inspiration for so many others!
You are a light, a friend, a confidante, a wise advisor, a fellow on the journey, a unique koach that brings out the best of everyone around!
You are being saved from lust because of your own zechusim!!! It's been such a tough and long week since last Wednesday it's an incredible accomplishment that you have staved off the Yetzer Hara until now - he has attacked you mightily from all sides, laying stress and difficulty in every corner - YOU ARE AMAZING FOR BEING CLEAN!!! You have weakened his defenses - his attack is waning - get back out there and take that win!!!

You're swimmin' like Michael Phelps - keep it up!!!

Hey, friend!
I have been away. I came back and am catching up a bit.
You are a heartwarming ray of sweetness in a world of greyness.
Keep going, day at a time. Don't worry so much.
You're a good guy.

Chaim

Didn't I say that I can't swim?! Well, so I drowned! So why did I endanger myself with getting into the waters if I knew I couldn't swim? well, it was too tempting and I found a open exciting slide.

Sorry Yiftach and all of you for the disappointment.

Thanks all of you that always give me support, I'll continue growing despite all slips.

Lesson: ..."בדרך שאדם רוצה לילך"..... "הבא ליטמא" Hashem showed me that if I try so hard to get ahold of an unfiltered device he won't keep me back forever.

It's painful but I just now learnt that lust can't numb the pain either.

P.S. My wife caught me red-handed with the device, oh boy was that humiliating!!! but she unbelievably special for reacting the way she did.