redfaced wrote on 12 Nov 2023 19:12:

Is it for your days or your posts? Or for the days?
If its for your posts than I'm also asking for one when I reach 300 very soon.
If its for the days, I'll leave for Reb Chaim to decide if 50 (beH) qualify as well.

Congrats on you 202 days! keep on soaring higher and higher!

My dear friend, Reb Chaim, WOW! WOW WHEE!!!! 
p.s. can you please post in American next time, so even I can understand? Thanks!

I am touched, deeply.
The fact that my simcha is your simcha, my dear friends, is not only great Chizzuk, and balm to a lonely heart, it's also a huge Michayeiv.
BS"D, I won't let you guys down!

As for you, Red, here goes:

         Remarkably astute
         Empathetic and kind
         Decisive and practical
         Funny!
         Active, even though you don't have your own thread
         Chizzuk to others under the guise of receiving it
         Extraordinary
         Don't know what we would do without you!!!!!

Mazal Tov on 202 - Keep Trucking Ad Meah ViEsrim! And towing us!

chaimoigen wrote on 13 Nov 2023 13:45:

Now I'm crying for real

To Paraphrase myself
redfaced wrote on 23 Oct 2023 17:17:

Mazel Tov to both of you on your milestones! May Hashem arrange for you to keep on helping others. Hatzlocha!

If I'm reading it right, my dear Rosh Yeshiva, Shabbos is day 200! Wow whee!!! As a talmid I feel a little funny saying this, but thank you dear friend:)
Keep 'em coming, keep trucking...and keep smiling!

Friends, Yidden, Countrymen, lend me your ears.
"I get by with a little help from my friends"
                                             so I'm wanting to share...

I recently passed, through the kindness of Hashem, a 200 day milestone. I'm extremely grateful to all of you. I want to share some stuff, because it might be helpful. And because we are together on this journey.

The first time I spoke with HHM, even before I met him, he threw down a challenge. I was to commit to avoid looking at anything whatsoever that could cause arousal for 30 days. Not only images - no literature, articles, stuff on Amazon, I had to commit to be super careful on the streets. I had been working on Shemiras Enayim for quite a while but I had never thought about it in precisely those terms. 

I picked up the gauntlet. Took the road less traveled by.
And that has made all the difference.

Since that fateful day, as a result of that conversation, our subsequent meeting, and a transformative first month on GYE, I have adopted a personal policy that I've discussed here before - I don't browse the internet. I no longer look around for interesting things. I don't use the internet for distraction, comfort, or stimulation. I use it as a tool, to look up something specific that I have planned out in advance. And I've installed Wizmage (thanks Benny!) so I don't see images unless I specifically choose to. It's now been over 200 days since I've seen pretty much anything untzniyusdik on a screen (except for a couple of minor random popups when I had to use someone's phone to order something briefly).

I don't know if this can work for others, but for me this has been transformative. 

Was it difficult? In some ways, it was and is very difficult.
I have insatiable curiosity about everything. Broad interests. And I love reading and looking up random things and fascinating articles. I have a surprising range of knowledge in many areas based on that. It's dry not to be able to go looking for something random and interesting. I miss out on adding interesting and fascinating and impressive stuff to my encyclopedia. It's a change - נפשנו יבשה אין כל - בלתי אל המן עינינו 

And I no longer have this outlet to burrow into and bury my mind at the end of an exhausting day or after a soul-crushing meeting. 

And if I am going to be painfully candid and harshly honest with myself, it's hard to give up the pleasure of sightseeing all sorts of beautiful and stimulating things.... especially the enjoyable sights that I had somehow filed away in my mind as inevitable, and therefore non-guilty, pleasures. Yeah. 

But there are benefits. And it's worth it. It really is. 
I feel I am finally becoming a mentch.
No more fumbling around at the edge of the shadows half-hoping, half-dreading to fall in. No more eye-glazing empty-blahness compulsive scrolling half-stimulated drearyness ugh.  I now see the truth about how browsing is the "posture of pornography" [as explained more here:[url=https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/395737-Thought-I-wouldnt-need-to-ask-for-help?limit=15&start=135#400754]guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/395737-Thought-I-wouldnt-need-to-ask-for-help?limit=15&start=135#400754[/url]. Feel like I am becoming a grown-up, after all these years.

Other benefits: My davening is completely different. I treat my wife better, especially since I've learned a lot on the BB Forum. There's a new sweetness and satisfaction in the bedroom. There are other aspects of my life that have improved; certain areas of Ruchniyus. Clarity. I am becoming a lot more successful in seeing women as persons, and in being careful on the street, in many subtle ways. I like myself more. 
Becoming a mentch has a lot of benefits. The biggest one is becoming a Mentch.

Last couple of nights I had to spend a long while surrounded by women, in various venues, without my wife. I prepared myself and was careful. In the past, even when trying to be careful, i would inevitably "notice" a lot of details; I'm highly observant. I am deeply moved to share with you that the past few nights I simply did not notice. This post is my Seudas Hodaah.

I have had challenges and some difficult struggles these past months. I do not think for a moment that I am immune, and I know I must remain vigilant.

But I wouldn't trade in the gift I have received for anything. 
I am Chaimoigen, and I am alive.  

You are Reb Reb Chaim indeed!

You are alive and keeping us alive as well.

Mazel Tov on 200+

You're a legend!

To paraphrase Shmuel Kunda, "How I wish that I could be somebody, somebody like Chaim our friend...."
p.s. I don't want to shter the seudas Hoda'ah, so I'll continue some other time and place

chaimoigen wrote on 06 Dec 2023 15:09:

Best line in some time!!!

Your warmth of life is spreading to all surrounding you.

Thanks for sharing with us what real life is about, now we know what to aspire.

Mazel tov! U'ksheim..... Kach tizkeh L'..........

Mazel Tov on 200 to a leader of the masses who leads with love and respect. The caring that comes out between the lines of your writing is tangible. The Ohr HaChaim Hakadosh writes about Moshiach - "And his name is Chaim".

I had a moment of tremendous Chizzuk this Shabbos.
It's an unconventional thought, and I doubt any great Rav or Chizuk-speaker  will present it on a Viayimaen video. But it works for me. 

I was learning the Parsha of Yosef Hatzadik and came across the Gemora that states that he would have given birth to 12 Shevatim had he not stumbled somewhat within the challenge with Eishes Potifar
. תלמוד בבלי מסכת סוטה דף לו/ב  
תניא היה ראוי יוסף לצאת ממנו י"ב שבטים כדרך שיצאו מיעקב אביו שנאמר אלה תולדות יעקב יוסף אלא שיצא שכבת זרעו מבין ציפורני ידיו

Now, obviously, the Gemora needs to be properly understood (and there are many Peshatim), and its axiomatic to state that any shortcoming Chazal are ascribing to Yosef Hatzadik is only a shortcoming on his impossibly great level. Nevertheless, Chazal are clearly saying that there was a higher, greater level that Yosef could have achieved in that moment of Nisayon, that he did not reach.  On some (incredibly high) level, Yosef messed up somewhat, and because of this he lost TEN Shevatim. He never regained them.    
This made me feel great. 

{SPOILER ALERT: I suspect this post may bring down upon me the ire of Captain and Bright. About Vehkam's reaction, I'm not sure.}

Allow me to explain. You see, Yosef is THE Tzadik. The entire Klal Yisroel rides on his Zchus - He is the Tzaddik Yesod Oilam. Everything stands on him.  And yet, here we are learning that the unbelievable Madreiga that we all rely on - is only"Madreiga B" - It is all notwithstanding the fact that he LOST "Madreiga A" when he did not withstand the Nisayon entirely (for what was expected on his exalted level). It would seem (unless I am mistaken) that he never regained "Madreiga A". But "Madreiga B" is still enough for all of Klal Yisroel to stand on and draw wellsprings of Kedusha from until the end of time. And he is still Yosef Hatzadik, nevertheless, Merkava of Middas Yesod. "Madreiga B" was enough to acheive this impossibly great level, regardless of the fact that he lost "Madreiga A". 

This is a huge source of Chizzuk to me.
I have messed up in the past. That is why I am here. I am proud to report that I am BH doing great, and accomplishing great things.
Yet I sometimes feel bad about what I may have lost forever due to bad choices in the past.
Now, (besides remembering that Teshuva is real and effective) I can find great comfort in this thought:
I can still set my sights for the lofty stars - for a "Madreiga B" that will reverberate until the end of time.

שגיאות מי יבין

[p.s. Bright, I Takeh don't know why Yosef's presumed Teshuva Me'Ahava didn't get him back the 10 lost Shevatim. It bothers me too.]

There is a similiar idea, in that the Ramban says that chait gadol chote Avrohom about Sarah and Pharoah, yet it is one of the ten nisyonos of Avrohom Avinu that we reap the rewards for generations. Same concept that despite it not being a perfect amidah it still counts big. Incidently, the midrash, (quoted on vayimaen btw) says one of the reasons klal yisroel did not have any illicit encounters with mitzrayim is because of Sarahs amida bnisayon (and Yosefs). This is despite the fact that she shouldnt have done it in the first place. 


Its a good question. It is probably similiar to someone cutting off his arm and doing tshuva on it. It still wont grow back. In order to be maamid the shvatim, it is possible it had to be a matzav of reishis ono, like with yaakov. And now it was not.

chaimoigen wrote on 11 Dec 2023 01:55:

Beautiful idea! Gives me a lot of Chizuk - thank you!!

אין לי עסק בדברים נשגבים, ובלי השגה כלל אוסיף
מתחילה עלה במחשבה לברוא את העולם במדת הדין, ראה שאין העולם מתקיים שיתף עמו מידת הרחמים. ודבר זה קשה מאוד להבינו, כי אצל הקב"ה אינו שייך כלל ענין של הוה אמינא ומסקנא. ואולי טמון כאן יסוד, שהעולם שאנחנו דרים בו, העולם של מתן תורה, של האבות הקדושים, העולם שבו מתקיים רצון ה', הכל הוא plan b. ובו עצמו טמון בחיזוק ליוסף ולנו, אל תדאג שאין העולם שלך עכשיו בדרגא של Plan A, גם עולמו של הקב"ה מתקיים והולך, ובו נעשה נחת רוח לו, והוא  Plan B
לחיים!

Reb CO, please translate into English...or American:)