Teshuvahguy wrote on 25 Dec 2022 15:18:
On day 66. Having terrible urges. It’s so frustrating. I feel deprived and lonely and sad. The constant stress to not look at triggers (which are everywhere) and the constant convincing myself to be strong. It’s exhausting and sometimes I wonder if it’s all worth it.
It's very important to find positive meaning in your struggle. In other words, when you appreciate the value of the struggle, you’ll become energized and willing to work hard to achieve your goal.
For example, imagine being given the choice of mining a 1-carat diamond or a larger 100-carat diamond. Which would you prefer? Would you be willing to put in the extra effort to carry the heavier gem out of the mine?
Chazal say that a mitzvah done with discomfort is worth 100 times more than a mitzvah that was easy. R’ Reuvain Dov Dessler (the father of R’ Eliyahu Dessler) explains that the value of a mitzvah increases exponentially in relation to its difficulty. In other words, a minor discomfort multiplies a mitzvah’s value by 100. With each increase in discomfort, the value multiplies an additional 100 times.
So the next time you have an urge, think of it as an opportunity to mine your diamond. Depending on how uncomfortable the urge is, when you resist it, you might be mining a 100, 1000, or even 10,000-carat diamond!
Your connection with Hashem, the kedusha you bring to the world, and the reward you can earn by overcoming the urge, could all be off the charts!
Also when you stop using Pornography and Masturbation, it can leave a void in your life, like when you break up with a dear friend you once spent a lot of time with. Over time, as your brain rewires itself, you’ll discover that life is much more satisfying without Pornography and Masturbation, and healthier pleasurable activities will fill the void that remains. Eventually, you'll find pleasure and and satisfaction in meaningful experiences, such as deepening your personal relationships, living life according to your values, and using your unique abilities to serve Hashem and help others.
