I admit I am out of control, and this force is far greater than me. 

I am an atheist, I don't follow most Jewish traditions, and I am raising my kids secular as well. I feel I am worse off for this. My community will never quite be as tightly knit as those who go to Beit Knesset regularly. I don't have clear guidelines and rules for the road. I am on my own in a void, and failing. 

This is my first day trying something new to get me off of my addictions. Yesterday, I asked another addict online (in an inappropriate context) if he was aware of his addiction. He asked me what I wanted to see next, in a testament to being completely unaware of what I was saying! I realized I am not him. I have capacity for thought and awareness, I am attentive and learned, and I was lucky enough to grow up religious. This "frum" site does not deter me. 

I really hope this community will be conducive to getting off my addiction and getting my life back. (Even that can be contested. I don't remember a time without porn). I hope to find my place, even as somewhat of an outsider. 

bezalel wrote on 20 Dec 2022 09:59:

Hi! I actually don't hold of greeting any new member with a religious sermon, because if somone is here that means their understanding of their religion until now has probably not led to them stopping their porn issue. And many times the fear of rejection from the community actually prevents people from seeking the help they need. But You took the first step and joined a place dedicated to recovery And you also want to have a life. That's great, because that's a huge part of recovery. The detirmination to do something about the problem . We are all here to try to stop, and there are many wondeful tools available on this website to help with the urges, the proper prespective on Sex and porn, and all the rest of the varied aspects of the struggle. We are all rooting for you. Welcome to the family!

Welcome. May Hashem help you find what you need here. There are many non-religious resources, which although may use loads of religious terminology, really are more psychological in nature. Read the forums; you may find people who share similarities in your struggle.

You wrote "I don't remember a time without porn". I assume that means you were exposed at a very young age. If yes, you subconsciously may have experienced a pretty heavy dose of trauma. Children's security and trust in the adult world comes crashing down when they suddenly discover this extremely secretive and usually evil looking (in a child pre-puberty's mind) behavior. "My parents do that? My rebbi does that? The shul rabbi does that?" You can PM or email me to continue this trauma discussion if it resonates with you. 

sent you a pm with the obligatory spelling mistake (feel, not fell)

Welcome!

It’s interesting that you opened up your story with information on how observant you are. I was actually thinking about how it’s pretty  hard to tell someone’s observance level from posts here since without seeing them or knowing their real name, the struggle sounds very similar - different situations but in essence ultimately stemming from the same source. 

this is not a kiruv site, but ultimately those it will help you come closer to your ideal self, which will bring you in touch with your Creator. 

wishing you tremendous courage and success

 ILH

bezalel wrote on 20 Dec 2022 09:59:

Thank you for joining. We are all here no matter who you are or what background you come from. Looking forward to hearing more from you, keep posting, we are all reading.