Hey
I saw the recent post that took so much strength to post and I want to get on the train. I am new here, to this amazing site. I want to share a little bit as I am now learning that the more each of us can see that we are not alone, and so many regular guys are struggling with the same stuff that we are -, the easier the fight becomes.

I have been acting out since I was 12 years old and its been going on for 14 years.  Starting out as a coping mechanism to the unsafe, incredibly lonely home that I was in. And turning into the way I deal with the uncomfortable feelings in my life. This continued thru yeshiva, thru all those long nights learning ,thru being that great guy on the outside, thru rebbaim praising me, thru so many things that I told myself cant be true because I have this problem. 

.  But deep down I know that its not true, that really all  those things are the truth. I just have a struggle like EVERYONE has struggles and mine happens to be this.

Its so intimating in a way to get up here in public and say hello but again deep down its liberating to get to talk about the things that we have hidden from the world and to realize we are not alone 

A big thank you to everyone here 

You gotta rename your thread:) You are unique, in your talents, virtues and strong points, as well as your struggles. I'm also quite new here, but I feel very welcome by all the gevaldige chevra. That was such gevurah to post that, and if you're here you're already a great guy. If you weren't looking to get better you wouldn't be here. Keep posting, my friend. The getting out of isolation, out of everything in your own mind, will help a lot. and there's so much to learn here. For me, first posting was so relieving ,and then reaching out to HHM was the greatest game changer. We all care about you and we want to here more! tell us about yourself and the things you're doing to fight the YH. Tell us whatever is on your mind. We are brothers here!

Hey,

Welcome to the family!

I can totally relate to what you're experiencing. I've been pretty popular in Yeshiva (big knocker, if I may say so myself) and sometimes thought to myself like if only people would know... but, like you said, we all struggle. 

You are right, deep down you are good, deep down we all want to be clean, deep down we don't want this shmutz. It's a struggle, but ultimately we will win!

Feel free to contact me: teshuva4real@gmail.com

Stay strong and rock on buddy!!

Sorry, I left out the H from my email: teshuvah4real@gmail.com