yud909 wrote on 29 Jan 2023 22:52:

Gevaldig my friend! We will always have struggles, we have to see to it that our reactions are the ones that help us out. Idea #1- reach out and talk to someone about your emotions. You don't have to spell out all the details of your current nisayon, just talk about what's on your heart. Keep trucking, my holy friend!

A Gut Voch everyone
BH going strong on day 94!

Just a quick thought for anyone new to the fight, reading this. I'm telling you it gets easier with time. It doesn't go away, I get urges, I have triggers, I even got a random text message tonight from someone, but the battle definitely gets easier. For me (and I suspect most people) it's something you get used to doing whenever you get triggered, are bored, sad, etc. But if you battle it out and just fight hard and keep yourself distracted and busy for a while you will rewire your brain eventually to not revert to these behaviors by default. I'm not looking to be all haughty and say I'm rewired and cured, I'm definitely not. I might even fall again at some point in the future, I constantly daven and hope that I don't, but I might. What is different for me is that it's not a default behavior, which is saying a lot considering that for the last 25+ years it has been. 
I hope I didn't make an ayin hara by posting.

A Gut Voch! A Mazeldiga Voch! A Hatzlachadiga Voch!

yud909 wrote on 05 Feb 2023 02:40:

Dear yod 909!
I love this post! Thank you so much for posting it!!
and אמן on your beautiful ברכת!
!וכן למר

yud909 wrote on 05 Feb 2023 02:40:

So true. 

as a part of my "human-raising" campaign (see thread for more info - link in signature), I took on 30 days of resisting the urge to turn my neck when a distraction comes my way. 

If you told me 137 days ago that I'd be actively working on this, I'd have scoffed. 

It goes from being a constant battle to a siege against the yetzer. Whoever gives up last wins. 

yud909 wrote on 05 Feb 2023 02:40:

You are so right. We get used to the idea that certain situations lead us to act in certain ways. And we start falling without thinking or fighting, just because we've trained ourselves to act a certain way. But yes, we can retrain our behavior patterns, and our way of thinking. Yes, there will still be tests, but at least we'll be fighting. 94 days, WOW! Keep up the amazing work, my holy friend! And keep sharing your words of wisdom!

Good morning all,
I don’t have much to say hence my lack of posts but Baruch HaShem still going strong on day 104. 
have a great day everyone and keep up the good fight 

Ahh the feeling of going into Shabbos with another week clean is amazing. Not like some high that I feel by Neillah but more of a relaxed and warm and fuzzy feeling of basking in the last 106 days being clean and davening that Hashem gives me the strength to continue. 

This week I did have what I felt was a major victory. I went on a business trip (with another person, so no potential to really stumble other than the standard daily shmiras enayim challenges) and unfortunately it was not too successful. I came home feeling like I wasted so much time and money with nothing to show for it. In the past after such a day, my go to escape was the computer (or worse). B'H my mind didn't even venture there. The day was a flop but I knew it wouldn't help to try and escape with something that would make me feel worse. 
I'm very certain that my challenges are not behind me and I will have struggles for many years to come, but the fact that I didn't automatically go to that place in my head, makes me think maybe this whole "90 days to rewire the brain" has some truth to it. 

Have a great Shabbos!

Ur a Hero!! Just don't take this victory for granted. You must celebrate this victory somehow. Looking forward to hearing from you how you celebrated!!

excellence wrote on 18 Feb 2023 22:43:

really bad at celebrating, what do you do?

Ice cream, pizza party, scented candle and Epsom salt bath with a good book, painting or building something, doing something extra special for your wife to be a bigger giver, etc

yud909 wrote on 19 Feb 2023 04:13:

I love to party!! Come over to me for M.M. !!
all jokes aside… I’m so happy for you that your holding here in your fight… I can’t wait till I can post what you have. גוט וואך!!

Time to switch your username to -yud 10 billion!

yud909 wrote on 19 Feb 2023 04:13:

I suppose there are many ideas, but suppose it needs to be something you wouldn't be doing anyway. You can buy yourself a nice treat, or I bought my wife something that I wouldn't of otherwise bought. You can do something nice to enhance your Sholom Bayis too!!
Maybe we ought to open a thread where everyone can share ways they have celebrated victories..........!!! Anyone?

excellence wrote on 19 Feb 2023 13:57:

Don’t just write it

do it

yud909 wrote on 17 Feb 2023 21:48:

One word comes to mind: MOIRIDIG!!!!