First day of chanukah is 90 days clean from massage parlors

not sure how to celebrate other than continue to revel in the glorious new life I have discovered

iLoveHashem247 wrote on 18 Dec 2022 03:47:

Dance!  When you light the menorah and sing the relevant songs don’t forget to have your victories in mind.  Mazel tov!

iLoveHashem247 wrote on 18 Dec 2022 03:47:

Come on over and i will give you a geshmak kosher massage!

day 89

iLoveHashem247 wrote on 18 Dec 2022 03:47:

wowowow, I'm so happy for you.

I’m so happy for you. Revel as much as you want and keep the positivity going!!

TG

So I am still suffering great anguish from the situation last Shabbat when a very chashuv individual embarrassed me in public… 

trying to resolve the situation but my Rav is unreachable (out of the country)

the chashuv person sent messengers to check on where I disappeared to and made a halfhearted effort himself which I tried following up on today and it didn’t go anywhere

im not a bad person and hate machloket

i do not understand why Hashem is putting me through this test

the pain and suffering of holding my tongue and trying to avoid machloket and Lashon Hara is so powerfully hurtful that the combined pain of the past week is even worse than the initial encounter 

what lesson is Hashem trying to reach me? I’m in so much emotional pain…


on the other hand, my wife told me today that she feels true shalom now for the first time in our marriage…

in pain, hurt, and confused… yet hopeful for something? 

something like this once happened to my wife and she met me right after, but I’m already married and want to spend the rest of my life with her so what am I even lacking? I’m lacking nothing! 

so what’s the point of this test? 

ouch…

Maybe the point of the test is the amazing example you are setting for all the people reading how you are avoiding loshon hara and machloket despite the intense stress and pain it is causing you. That is heroic behavior and middos. You inspired me. I’m sorry for your pain but I am bursting with pride for your self control in a painful situation. And the shalom your wife expressed? For the FIRST TIME IN YOUR MARRIAGE…that’s platinum, my friend. You are winning left and right and inspiring others. 

TG

I feel your pain brother!!
H should help this whole situation should end easily and good bekuriv!
just want to post a joke I read from r’fishel shachter… basically a guy comes up to the next world and they tell him your record is not so clean u need to go through some gehinnom to get your gan Eden, but will give u a choice you can pick to go to the litvishe one or the chassidishe one.
he asks what’s the litvishe one? They tell him 120 degrees and goes from Monday to Thursday.
and the chassidishe one?
180 degrees and starts Sunday morning.
He says I want to go to the chassidishe one.
they ask why???
he replied-because by the chasdim 180 is not 180 and Sunday morning is not Sunday morning ether….
now all jokes aside he says a powerful story of a chusid that came to the slonimer rebba in a dream and said that gehinnom is no laughing matter.
so the rebbe asked so what’s the etzah??
he replied I can’t reveal much but I can say that there are two groups of people: one- people that even in their most trying moments accepted that was going on in their lives was hasshgachah.as tough as their situation was they still were not shaken from their belief that nothing happens by chance.
and the other is the individuals who when things were going well in their lives never lost sight that each day is a separate gift from H and whatever brachah they have could be recalled in a flash.
FOR THOSE TWO GROUPS REGARDLESS OF WHAT GEHINNOM IS ASSIGNED TO THEM YOU WILL NEVER FIND A MALACH WILLING TO TAKE THEM THERE!!!
I find this story so powerful and it’s so important to remember in every situation… keep it up buddy,you are so inspiring!!!!


btw how’d you celebrate?? Did you go over to Hhm to get a message and does he do a good job?? I have to know if it’s worth to get to day 90…

Ty for the chizuk geshmak!

 Going to celebrate with mikveh night on day 91 BH

 no strings attached

 but I did tell my wife I could use a nice half hour massage

iLoveHashem247 wrote on 19 Dec 2022 04:27:

Lol! Enjoy!!!
H’ loves you!!!!

iLoveHashem247 wrote on 19 Dec 2022 04:27:

Quite appropriate I would say, as long as your not 'kosher lustin' as the celebration.  :-) I'm sure your wife will notice how much you changed. Good for you! I'm happy for you.

Btw did the olim chap the joke??
like I was on the floor when I read it… but you gotta know chasdim to get the joke.

First of all I’m not sure if someone embarrassing you in public can be called a “chashuve person”
2nd why it’s happening ,I don’t know why G-D does what he does,but  I wonder if this has to do with the fact that you interrupted the plans of a very powerful Malach and perhaps he is trying to push back and give you emotional stress and cause you to slip up. You have done incredible work here and  we hope to continue to hear good things . 

Ty for the perspective

Day 90!