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TOPIC: I Want a New Life 403 Views

I Want a New Life 05 Jul 2022 20:32 #382885

helpneeded2022 OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 5 Karma: 0	I really Want a New Life I'm struggling and don't know where to start i have a messed up married life and that is leading me to a lot of things and nisyoness who can help me

Re: I Want a New Life 05 Jul 2022 20:39 #382886

5Uu80*cdwB#^ Current streak: 1166 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 179	Welcome. Can you share some more about yourself?
	If you are wondering why you can't stop masturbating even though you're guarding your eyes, it's because you're fantasizing.

Re: I Want a New Life 05 Jul 2022 20:47 #382888

helpneeded2022 OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 5 Karma: 0	im chsiddish married with kids, keep on climbing and more keep on failing suffering on shmiras einayim and of course masturbating long and hard teenage years was hoping will get better after getting married but actually got worse

Re: I Want a New Life 05 Jul 2022 22:06 #382891

DeletedUser1281
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 448
Karma: 35

Hey there helpneeded2022, welcome!

I'm also Chasidish, married, and have kids, but what really matters is that I'm in the process of getting out of a similar-sounding situation, and I'd love to try and help you.

It sounds like you're in a tough spot, but what's even worse than the situation is the confusion and lack of clarity I'm sensing (as you state, "don't know where to start"). Creating a new life is possible but needs to be clearly defined first.

I think you should set aside an hour (is that enough?) free from distractions, sit down and try to sort out your thoughts and emotions.
What exactly is bothering you?
Why does it bother you?
What would you like to change?

Once you have a clearer picture, we can try to figure out the proper steps.

Hatzlacha!

We get only one chance at life.
This is not a rehearsal; it's the real thing.

Father, help me live sober Today.

Re: I Want a New Life 06 Jul 2022 01:32 #382905

lchaim tovim Current streak: 4 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 305 Karma: 22	If I may add, browse the forums, there's a treasure trove of chizuk and advice all around. I didn't realize how wrong my perspective was on so many issues until I started browsing the forums.

Re: I Want a New Life 06 Jul 2022 01:34 #382906

Captain
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 800
Karma: 41

Welcome! Please check out these great free resources:
ebook- The Battle of the Generation
Audio series- The Fight
They're very good to start with.
See below in my signature for the links.

Hatzlocha!

In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: I Want a New Life 06 Jul 2022 14:42 #382939

helpneeded2022 OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 5 Karma: 0	thanks much for your kindness what my struggle is, fantasy shmiras einayim watching searching what not.................................... i simply feel i cant anymore i need help

Re: I Want a New Life 06 Jul 2022 15:07 #382942

jackthejew
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 358
Karma: 22

helpneeded2022 wrote on 06 Jul 2022 14:42:

thanks much for your kindness what my struggle is,

fantasy
shmiras einayim
watching
searching
what not....................................

i simply feel i cant anymore i need help

One way to start sorting out your feelings is to make a list of the reasons you feel you NEED to stop. Getting everything down clearly on paper will allow you to understand what steps and Gedarim will work for you to begin to stop.
(I Sent you a private message)

Off the forum for now.
My Thread (Not for inspiration, but for random bits and pieces of my journey, as well as the inspiring responses of others: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/375514-Enough-is-Enough
jackthejewgye@gmail.com
There are tips, tools, and techniques, but there are no shortcuts.

Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet! ~ Groucho Marx
Optimism is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable.-Voltaire
You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.- Abraham Lincoln
If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.- Yogi Berra
"I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information." ~ Calvin

Re: I Want a New Life 06 Jul 2022 21:56 #382969

To Yosef Hatzaddik
Current streak: 1 day
OFFLINE
Gold Boarder
Posts: 221

If you want to, please look at the post that I linked below in my signature. This will hopefully address points 3 and 4 of your struggle, if you haven't addressed them already.

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(Includes WebChaver/CovenantEyes, Microsoft Family Safety, and Apple
Screentime and a how-to guide to set them up without loopholes)

Even if you already have a filter, these are necessary additions because
they fix many loopholes that exist with paid filters (speaking from firsthand
experience) and because they add priceless accountability features.

If you have trouble filtering a shared device, then see the post for how
to get these filters discreetly, without any other users' knowledge whatsoever
and without the filters affecting the other users of the device at all.