I'm new to the program and don't know my way around so much. I was brought here through Reb Shalom Arush's eitzos and his sefer The Garden of Purity. I'm happy to be a part of this. We really do have such a hard test in this generation. I was speaking to my Rav who said many gedolim begged hasHem not to be born in this generation due to this singular test. I hope to learn new skills here to grow in personal holiness. I'm struggling with getting lewd and awful images out of my head that I don't want there. They pop into my head during davening and other times that really bother me. I don't want these thoughts and need more skills to combat this.

i was there and had the same problems as you buddy, try not to fight these imiges away, just accupy your mind with something else till your brain will get trained that it will stop
now i barely have it come up in my mind, just try not to think of the pink elephent in the room (as they say)

chasid613 wrote on 04 May 2022 16:45:

Welcome to GYE!

A great way to deal with unwanted thoughts is to create more "distance" from them. In this case, you're not trying to change the thought or distract yourself from it, but just to unhook from it. When you unhook from a thought, it will have much less of an effect on you.

Thoughts can be categorized by the way they behave. Some thoughts are simply passing, while others are repetitive or habitual showing up every day, and still others can be sticky. These sticky thoughts can become fused or "hooked " for weeks, months and even years - impacting your identity and how you think about yourself. 

While it is natural to become fused or hooked with your thoughts, evaluations, and memories and then behave according to these thoughts, when you learn to unhook from unhelpful thoughts, they will begin to have much less influence over your feelings and behavior. Of course, unhooking is a process rather than a specific technique and there are dozens of ways you can unhook. 

When you start to view your thoughts as separate from you, you can stop taking them literally and can see them for what they really are – a string of words running through your mind. The aim of unhooking is not to get rid of unwanted thoughts; it is to see them as they are – merely thoughts and not facts.

The Unhooking strategy demonstrates that your thoughts are not you. They are simply ideas, judgments, and concepts that your mind produces daily. 

Below are a number of options that you can try to help you unhook from your unhelpful thoughts. 

"I'm Having the Thought That…"
The fastest and easiest way to create distance from difficult thoughts is to acknowledge when your mind is sharing thoughts with you. The next time you notice an unhelpful thought showing up, say, “I am having the thought that I should feel guilty about P&M”. Alternatively if you are experiencing an urge you can say to yourself “I notice I am having the thought that this urge is unbearable.”

The simple act of distancing yourself from thoughts will allow you to shift your attention to something more productive and helpful. 

Thanks, Mind
Another method for unhooking is thanking your mind for sharing a thought or thoughts with you. This is particularly helpful when you experience more difficult or challenging thoughts, so when you notice these thoughts appearing over and over again, say  “Thanks mind for telling me that I’m never going to be able to quit,” or Thank you mind for informing me that I’m a complete loser”. This small act could be the difference between believing the thought is fact and then being hooked to it,  or being able to reject it as just a thought. 

Silly Voices
A rather fun way to unhook from your thoughts is by using the silly voices method. The idea is to choose a voice for your thoughts that prevents you from taking the thought seriously. Some people use funny accents, or squeaky voices and others choose a childlike voice. When you have an unhelpful thought, repeat it using the silly voice of choice, and notice how quickly the thought becomes a joke. 

Musical Thoughts
Another fun way to practice unhooking is to sing the thought.
Recall an unwanted thought that commonly pops into your head, for example, "I'm a piece of garbage." Now sing this thought to yourself to the tune of "Happy Birthday." You can sing it silently to yourself, especially if you're tone-deaf.

Notice what happens to the thought. Now return to the original thought. Hold it in your mind for ten seconds and make yourself totally believe it. Notice how much this thought affects you. This time take the original thought and sing it in your head to the tune of "Ma Nishtana” or another favorite tune.

Notice how you feel about this thought now.

Why It Works
Unhooking allows you to distance any unhelpful thoughts, particularly those attached to urges. When you detach yourself from unhelpful thoughts about acting out, they lose their power over you. Unhooking helps us realize that urges (and thoughts and feelings) are not something we must obey and act on and that we can choose how much attention we give them.

Today Unhooking is the central theme of ACT therapy, but it's not something new. For example see this quote in the Tanya:
והאמת היה כדבריהם אם היתה נפש אחת לבדה היא המתפללת והיא המחשבת ומהרהרת המחשבות זרות. אבל באמת לאמיתו הן שתי נפשות הנלחמו' זו עם זו במוחו של אדם כל אחת חפצה ורצונה למשול בו ולהיות המוח ממולא ממנה לבדה. וכל הרהורי תורה ויראת שמים מנפש האלהית וכל מילי דעלמא מנפש הבהמית רק שהאלהית מלובשת בה.
והוא כמשל אדם המתפלל בכוונ' ועומד לנגדו עו"ג רשע ומשיח ומדבר עמו כדי לבלבלו שזאת עצתו בודאי שלא להשיב לו מטוב ועד רע ולעשות עצמו כחרש לא ישמע ולקיים מה שכתו' אל תען כסיל באולתו פן תשוה לו גם אתה כך אל ישיב מאומה ושום טענה ומענה נגד המחשבה זרה כי המתאבק עם מנוול מתנוול ג"כ רק יעשה עצמו כלא יודע ולא שומע ההרהורי' שנפלו לו ויסירם מדעתו ויוסיף אומץ בכח כוונתו

B"H thank you so much for sharing this advice with me. I've been trying my best to implement it to the best of my ability today. Furthermore, thank you for sharing with me chassidus from the Baal Hatanya. It gave me great chizik. 

Shkoyach,
Thank you so much.