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TOPIC: Not-so-Koshereyes 1961 Views

Re: Not-so-Koshereyes 29 May 2022 03:29 #381305

  • yissie
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It is great to hear someone who knows himself and is worried how to get through the summer before it happens. "Ashrei adam mefacheid tamid".

I think this is your solution. If you come into your free time hoping to overcome your struggle, as you said, you will undoubtedly fall. You have to have a plan BEFORE it comes around. And that plan must include not touching the smartphone. You should have a plan just in case you do touch it, but the plan is not to touch it.

If you have a couple hours to yourself, you must fill it up with some sort of schedule (like learning and exercise). But don't just fill up parts of your day. Come up with something that interests you that you can fill up all your free time. Some hobbies are not limited. Do you like reading? Crossword puzzles? Art? Listening to shiurim? But you should always have something to always fall onto.

Re: Not-so-Koshereyes 31 May 2022 19:32 #381394

  • koshereyes
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So two days ago was a big day for me. Although I don’t full appreciate how big it was, I know that I made a big step towards recovery. Yes, that’s right, I finally called someone and spoke to a real person about my struggles. It wasn’t as scary or as hard as I thought it’d be. Talking to a real person and holding a conversation about these inyanim was very easy and not as sensitive and weird as I thought it’d be. 

Anyhow, during that conversation, ***** told me that posting on the forum frequently and having a daily accountability partner are crucial to his success. So that’s what I’m going to try to do. 

Right now my main struggle is that I have a blocked smartphone, but I know one way to completely erase that filter. I have done it once in the past, but then had my filter put back on. Every day is a challenge for me not to erase the filter, but BH I’ve been holding up for the last few days. 

I haven’t watched p or m in over a month, which is a huge step for me. But rn the urge is so strong. I need chizuk to stay where I’m at.

Re: Not-so-Koshereyes 02 Jun 2022 11:06 #381455

  • Hashem Help Me
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Can you make someone else or TAG the administrator of your device, so you won't be able to erase the filter?
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

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Re: Not-so-Koshereyes 02 Jun 2022 13:12 #381459

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Koshereyes wrote on 31 May 2022 19:32:
So two days ago was a big day for me. Although I don’t full appreciate how big it was, I know that I made a big step towards recovery. Yes, that’s right, I finally called someone and spoke to a real person about my struggles. It wasn’t as scary or as hard as I thought it’d be. Talking to a real person and holding a conversation about these inyanim was very easy and not as sensitive and weird as I thought it’d be. 


So true. The fear of so many of the steps I've taken has proven to be much worse then what actually happens
Off the forum for now.
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Re: Not-so-Koshereyes 07 Jun 2022 14:51 #381564

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Hashem Help Me wrote on 02 Jun 2022 11:06:
Can you make someone else or TAG the administrator of your device, so you won't be able to erase the filter?

Im in yeshiva now and they have their own phone program. I’m working with a rebbi on it

Re: Not-so-Koshereyes 07 Jun 2022 14:55 #381565

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I’m about to face a major challenge where I have access to an unfiltered device for about an hour. I’m going to try and resist for the first 5 mins, and then every 5 mins after that.
Last Edit: 07 Jun 2022 14:55 by koshereyes.

Re: Not-so-Koshereyes 07 Jun 2022 15:08 #381566

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Hatzlocha! Don't forget to update us how you've done.

I find resistance to be the last resort for myself...usually the less confrontation, the better.

I suggest to try your best and stay busy.
Take a walk, read a book or catch up with a family member or friend.

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: Not-so-Koshereyes 08 Jun 2022 19:28 #381645

  • koshereyes
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Okay, so I failed the challenge yesterday, but BH I’m not letting it get me down. 

This weekend will be a big challenge for me (which I really don’t see a way how I can not fail), since I’m going home for an off Shabbos. Wish me luck!

Re: Not-so-Koshereyes 08 Jun 2022 19:39 #381647

  • yechielmichel
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Koshereyes wrote on 08 Jun 2022 19:28:
Okay, so I failed the challenge yesterday, but BH I’m not letting it get me down. 

This weekend will be a big challenge for me (which I really don’t see a way how I can not fail), since I’m going home for an off Shabbos. Wish me luck!

If I understood correctly, you knew you were going to have access to an unfiltered device for an hour, you posted about it here, and then, as you say "failed the challenge"?

Re: Not-so-Koshereyes 09 Jun 2022 18:58 #381713

  • yissie
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It is not something about luck. I wish you hatzlacha in having the strength to overcome any yetzer hara that comes your way.
I second what zedj said about resistance as a last resort. I would also say that you should make gedarim, more than regular gedarim, to stay away. Maybe have an incentive after you get back to yeshiva when you come out clean. Do not rely on luck, this is based on you and your strength, and if you insist that you want to come out clean, Hashem will help you.
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