I was sexually abused form 8 to 18 pretty much. I don't want to go into details as it is graphic.

This has left me with a myriad of disorders and it feels hopeless... My childhood was robbed from me and not only that but I have been stranded with these things that continue to haunt me and destroy my life. 

I can't afford therapy where I live (South Africa), my shul can't help me, and I've tried pretty much everything I can find online or in my area.

I'm desperate for help, and I'm alone in this battle as a convert as well as not connected to my family or have any friends.

The light is dying in me, and I can't rekindle this flame... I don't want to goon living anymore... I'm so broken

I sent you a PM.
The pain is unbearable, I know.

Here with you,

YeshivaGuy

It sad and heart breaking to hear your situation. Even though you have gone through so much of abuse and neglect, there is still hope to recover and have a productive and happy life.

You need support. You can make freinds here, who will understand you and accept you and help you out.

Unfortunately you need therapy to recover from all the trauma. You might contact Amudim for support, advice and financial help.

Yoinala

Welcome. Sorry to hear how tough it is for you. There are organizations that assist with therapy in most countries. Have you researched if any funding is available in South Africa?

I’ve tried to get help for about 4 years now… been suffering with this all my life though. And no, no one can help me find funding or anything 

CarmelCamel wrote on 13 Mar 2022 14:41:

I was also abused though not from such a young age. Please, please reach out to me privately. I am anxious to at least be a sounding board. I have done and seen some really bad stuff in my life. You cannot shock me. Don’t go through this alone. PM me or email me at Teshuvahguy@gmail.com. Don’t give up.