So... (Started the sentence with a coordinating conjuction just for the Grammarians out there)
This past Shabbos, I had an interesting experience, and I would like to share the thought process.
 was walking down a street, and saw, out of the corner of my eye, a frum lady wearing a brightish blue dress. Then that voice in my head said, "That's a bright dress, look again at how odd that color is." When I processed that, I thought to myself, I don't think that the reason I feel like looking is because of the color. Looking slightly to her right, she was pushing a blue riding car occupied by a kid dressed in  blue. (IDK if this family just really likes blue) So, I reflected, obviously the reason for looking wasn't the blue color, but rather the usual instinct to check out a woman. Then, I considered, what would be my reaction if a car in that color came down the street? Would I even bother with a casual second glance? Probably not. Therefore, I must not be that amazed by a vivid blue color in general. As if to confirm this, at that moment, a car in a much louder electric blue passed right by.

Have you also noticed, perhaps, that “electric blue” rhymes with “Jack the Jew”? 

Keep trucking, brutha, whether blue or not. 

You’re a special soul. 

Amazing! I love that self talk.

Happens to be that blue is my best color but ya you'd still be looking for the woman and than feel blue.

Keep plowing,

Well said. I noticed I have such a train of thought too. Like: hey I wonder if that dress is the same color as.. or whatever, just as an excuse to look again.

After coming back for a while, My Rabbeim and mentors both on and off- forum have informed me that it's time to step back off again. Thank you to all those who've helped me and helped guide me, talked with me, and most importantly straightened me out. To my Rabbeim, mentors, and therapists. To the GYE Hanhala and moderators. No words suffice.
To all the friends I've gained: Please feel free to keep in touch, although the time has come for me to leave the recovery journey to others. Thank you to everyone who participated in making me into a different person and giving me life. Thank you all.

Yea i have the same issues its just making me more attached