jackthejew wrote on 31 Dec 2022 16:58:

Interesting. I don't want the world judging me on ..............anything.  Why should the world judge a part of us? Whos the world either way?Why we judging even 1 part of a person? We can accept every single dingle part of us.

We don't have to say "don't just judge me by my depression" look at all the other wonderful parts of me".   We have to not judge, love, normalize, accept, be open and curious to every single part of us. Not normalizing a part of us is 1970s my friend. Have you ever read "the body keeps the score" by Bessel van der Kolk? It has a lot of the incredible amount of discoveries in the areas of neurobiology, feelings, desires and the like. UPDATED information. There has been so so so so much more understood about the brain!    "mental illness" "not normal" "disease" "bad part" are all things of the past.  

Human being wrote on 02 Jan 2023 03:03:

The reason there's a Chiyuv to Dan L'kaf Z'chus is because we will automatically judge people. NO logical decision is ever made without judgement. Non-judgementalism is a MYTH. But we can change how we judge and what the judgement is

sleepy wrote on 02 Jan 2023 16:52:

Ha.
I once had someone scold me for being judgemental about a person.
He said no one has the right to judge another person etc.
So, I asked him if I did something wrong by being judgemental, and his answer was a resounding yes.
Well, how can you judge me for being judgemental? That's where I struggle; shut up.
No, it's different...
Of course, it's different. It always is.

We all do it, some of us don't pretend that we don't.

connected wrote on 02 Jan 2023 17:13:

We should never judge someone for being judgmental. Who do we think we are? Do we even know what he's struggling with? A good quote, "Don't Judge Someone Just Because They Sin Differently than You."

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”
― Brad Meltzer

jackthejew wrote on 02 Jan 2023 08:33:

When we use the phrase "dont judge me" we mean "don't judge me for the bad"    Not "be absent minded"      When we say to be "non-judgmental", it means "to not be a 'judging for the bad' person".              Nobody thinks we should be absent minded. No-one.   I believe Non-judgmentalism, is no longer a myth anymore :-)

The way we can be non-judgmental in our example of depression is as follows.   We can be compassionate to the part of us that is signaling to our brain to produce (or not produce) certain chemicals and leave us feeling depressed. Instead of calling our depression "bad" "an illness" "a disease"   We can view it as there's a part of us that is trying to help us, by causing us to be depressed. We can be curios and compassionate to ourselves and towards whatever is causing us to be depressed. And we can realize our brain is producing chemicals to help us. A part of us wants us to be depressed for a reason. That part of us believes depression is really really good. Because for that part of us, depression is helping to shield us from something.  It could be pain, it could be stress, is could be loneliness, g-d knows what, there can be 100s of causes. But there is a legit cause. Your mind isn't dumb, our minds are good tool that try to help us. If we are depressed there is a reason. Lets not judge out minds and say "your an idiot for sending the message to my brain to feel depressed. 

Depression is a bunch of normal chemicals, that are being produced abnormally for a reason.​  Our brain doesn't randomly produce chemicals. Something is telling our brain to produce the chemicals.  We have to be compassionate towards the part of us that is telling our brain to produce normal chemicals abnormally. 

​The same is with anxiety. All the chemicals our brains release when we have anxiety are normal chemicals. They are very useful indeed. They help us run away from danger when we need to.   The challenge starts, when our mind either perceives something to be dangerous when it is not in fact dangerous, or perceives a small threat as a massive imminent threat, thereby releasing the normal chemicals of anxiety abnormally. 

We have the same 2 options of either judging our anxiety as "bad"  "an illness" "a disease",  Or we can understand that something in our mind -a part of us- it telling the brain that there's danger when their really isn't. Or that theirs an existential threat when there really isn't.   The response of the brain to produce chemicals is very normal. Its our brain working perfectly. aka we aren't judging our anxiety as bad. we are saying its good. We are being as to why the mind is giving the brain faulty information.    The problem here is in our minds. Why is our mind sending a message to the brain that there's danger when in fact there isn't? And that is not judging anything. we are just being curios.

This does not mean that we will always find out why we are depressed. But there a reason. The chemical imbalance myth is over with numerous studys from the passed decade.

You may ask, but hay! Depression is an illness! Its caused by the brain and ony the brain. Not the mind!     -Nope. That's 1970s science. Please avail yourself to this article. I gained a lot from it.    

www.verywellmind.com/the-chemistry-of-depression-1065137

There are several theories about what causes depression. The condition most likely results from a complex interplay of individual factors, but one long-prevalent explanation suggested that abnormal brain chemistry played a primary role.1

More recent findings indicate that depression is likely not the result of chemical imbalances in the brain. However, the belief that chemical imbalances are responsible for causing depression is widely held by the American public. One survey found that nearly 85% of respondents believed that such imbalances were the likely cause of depression.2Recent Evidence

The belief that depression is caused by chemical imbalances has been declining in the scientific and medical community for some time. And a study published in a 2022 issue of the journal Molecular Psychiatry found further reason to doubt this explanation. The research indicated there is little evidence to suggest that depression is caused by chemical imbalances in the brain.3

The belief that chemical balances cause of depression is still widely held by the general public.4 This indicates a need to communicate the more current understanding that depression is a heterogeneous condition that may have many underlying causes.​

Another interesting blast from the past:
gye.nu/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/108986-Muslim---I-just-dont-know

Human being wrote on 20 Feb 2022 13:25:

Married guy  here

 is not so hard to just take it out and not hold and still have proper aim. Just take a second to make sure everything is in place and on target before going

 if needed, I pinch the skin near base (off to one side) to adjust aim

hope this helps 

To all my friends, the Giborei Chayil of Guard Your Eyes:
It's been an incredible journey over the past 451 days, and to say my life has BS"D turned around would be the understatement of the year and a half. Words cannot express the Hakoras Hatoiv that I owe to the Chasuva Hanholos Hamoised of GYE for all that they have done to help me and tens of thousands of others, helping to be Mehafech Me'eivel L'simcha and setting us up to properly deal with the Nisoyoin Hador. There are too many members of the forum who have greatly inspired me and showed me the way to success to mention individually. It has been an exhilarating ride B"H. However, one of the most important Klollim in dealing with this Yetzer Horah and in general really with any Yetzer Horah or Inyan of growth is that one cannot live in the past. My Rabbeim have informed me that at this stage, the time has come for me to take leave of this incredible forum for now for the purpose of working on other areas of avoidas hashem. To those I've had the Zchus of emailing, calling, and meeting face to face with, it's been a privilige and an honor to meet such amazing Baalei Aliyah. The email in my signature will still be active, however, what seems to now be right for me is to minimize the time and involvement in this entire Parsha. I will Bli Neder periodically check my email, and I invite all to reach out to me. But, for now, my time on the forum is at an end IY"H for the forseeable future.
Thank you to all who have so greatly helped and been Mechazek me, and may Hashem give us all the strength to win over this challenge, grow closer to him, and may we all be zoicheh to cry over the mountain Bekaroiv when we are standing in Yerushalayim B'mheiro Byamainu Amen.
Keep Trucking,
Jack
(P.S. If you think you know who I am, don't be shy, feel free to say Hi)

Jack!

You are a hero! May hashem be with you wherever you go!
We’ll definitely miss you here and we hope to hear great news from you!

As an הכרת הטוב to you I want to thank you in public for being THE FIRST PERSON when I got onto this holy site to reach out to me and check how I am doing! May Hashem pay you back with all good!

enjoy!
Trying the best

After some time away, I feel it's helpful for me to jump back in to the craziness of the wonderful forum on a more regular basis. So, I'll be trying to check in more often, and maybe chime in now and then. Accordingly, I've reset my counter too. It's good to be back. Ah Freilechin Almost Purim!

jackthejew wrote on 21 Mar 2024 02:36:

Hi Jack, I’m glad to see you’re back, having read this made me see what you wrote above back in March (written before I joined) and that would’ve made me sad. So…welcome back!!

Wonderfully crazy is a nice way to describe the forum. And your posts which I find thoughtful and helpful will make it even more enjoyable. 

And remember …“help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it”…

-YKW

HI! Welcome back, my dear friend JTJ! Ah, the wonderful memories! When I showed up you were from the daily active members, had such geshmake conversations, looking forward to catching up!