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finally posting!
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TOPIC: finally posting! 349 Views

finally posting! 28 Jun 2021 04:48 #370277

  • Smokey
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Hey everyone! I originally signed up to GYE over 3 years ago however i only really started using it a couple of months ago when i realized that if i want to quit myself from P&M for good i need to really buckle down and commit myself to climbing this mountain, it won't just happen from reading up what's wrong and watching inspiring chizuk videos, you have to internalize make a decision that i will commit myself to do whatever it takes to stop. B'H a bit over a year ago-before i committed myself, i got rid of my smartphone just because i was so i addicted to it and i letterly didn't have a life outside it (my screen time was 10-14 hours a day) and since then my struggle against pornogrophy has been much easier, just because my main access to the internet now is through my laptop, which is generally much more in public and im not with it all the time, that doesn't mean since then i haven't watched anything, however since pesach this year my eyes are clean B'h! A bit before purim time this year i connected with a mentor on GYE and he really inspired me to buckle down and really change myself, ive been mansturbating for over 4 years and before i connected with him the longest i ever was clean was less than a week, now my longest streak is BH 20 days, however it is still a massive struggle for me, i have ADHD and am extremely impulsive and i frequently get depressed (not clinically, just feel down for a few days) and that triggers me alot even when i'm on a high and clean for 2+ weeks i can just turn the other way and act out from one second to the next, cause something went wrong... so i'm working on coping with my depressing feelings using ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) and smart recovery, and how to not use my "Penis as my Pacifier" Bh now im clean for 10 days and  i feel like this is the time-to 90 days, of course taking it one day at a time. I'm so glad that i finally got my act together to post on the forum i've always wanted to for the past couple weeks just was never up to it. i thank everyone for the amazing chizuk and inspiration they post and are to me, and i hope that i'm able to be mechazek other alsos, lifes a journey and we each have our own struggles, but in this inyan we all have this struggle-some more and some less, but we can all hold each others hands and keep climbing together and overcome this! looking forward to continue posting!wishing you guys all the best!-smokey
follow my journey here

feel free to reach out to me!

Re: finally posting! 28 Jun 2021 06:49 #370280

  • Rt234
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Only the best! Keep up the hard work keep fighting! 

Re: finally posting! 28 Jun 2021 13:33 #370285

  • HappyYid
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Hi!
Thanks for posting.

Keep them coming!

Good luck.
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: finally posting! 28 Jun 2021 14:30 #370286

  • BeVeryStrong
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Yes we will climb this mountain together! Keep strong! let's not give up.
It takes tremendous amount of effort to actually decide and make up your mind that, yes!! I'm starting this journey. 
Hatzlacha and see you at 90 and beyond iyh!

BeVeryStrong 

Re: finally posting! 08 Jul 2021 05:38 #370613

  • YeshivaGuy
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How have you been?

Re: finally posting! 15 Jul 2021 07:14 #370894

  • Smokey
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Hey! thanks for following up! I totally forgot to keep posting and I really should besides that other people can get chizuk it inspires and motivates me! So, I'm now holding now on my 27th day clean! I never got past 20 yet and now baruch hashem I'm breaking the record! I must say one of the main reason to my success now is when I started again this time I made a deal that I would block YouTube, twitter and Instagram which were all 3 major triggers-not to mention time wasters! for all those reading this and think "that is impossible for me to do" take it from me, during bein hazmanim I used to watch YouTube 4 to sometimes 8(!) hours a day, and now I'm managing perfectly fine without watching my favorite youtubers vlogging, cant say sometimes I don't miss it and a few days ago I was speaking to my filter company and changing some settings and by mistake they reset all the sites I requested to be blocked, I immediately went to YouTube to see if it worked and when I saw it did "I just checked one video"... ...and was watching for the next 2 hours, BH at one moment I just caught hold of myself and quickly sent a request for it and the other social media sites to be blocked and I was saved, bh no triggers from the videos and that's why now I have a much easier fight! Can't say its an easy journey BUT ITS DAY 27 AND STILL CLEAN!

Everybody out there keep killing it and keep posting, it really inspires me and everyone else, even if we don't comment, and feel free to reach out to me!



all the best,



Smokey
follow my journey here

feel free to reach out to me!
Last Edit: 15 Jul 2021 07:17 by Smokey. Reason: typo

Re: finally posting! 15 Jul 2021 07:20 #370895

  • YeshivaGuy
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Amazing! Very inspiring, I’m so happy for you.
It’s so important and crucial that you blocked those sites.
Keep us posted, and keep shteiging!

Much Hatzlocha,

 YeshivaGuy 

Re: finally posting! 15 Jul 2021 07:23 #370896

  • Smokey
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Amazing! Very inspiring, I’m so happy for you.

It’s so important and crucial that you blocked those sites.

 


thanks! yes I am so happy for myself, I cant even believe that I actually did it because was so addicted to it and litterly lived my life on it, but bh here I am
follow my journey here

feel free to reach out to me!

Re: finally posting! 15 Jul 2021 13:43 #370901

  • dovidfg
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Keep up the great work, its mechazuk me to see people doing so well

Re: finally posting! 18 Jul 2021 22:21 #370993

  • Smokey
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Hey everyone! I can't believe it I finally made it to 30 days clean!!
I never believed that I could make it this far but thanks to GYE and the whole GYE community I did! Thank you for your constant chizuk, inspiration and encouragement throughout my journey and enabling me get here!
But wait its not over, this is just the beginning...

…Cheers to another journey for the next 30 days to make it to 60 days clean-starting right now!

ready or not here I come

wishing you guys all the best and a meaningful fast,

smokin hot smokey
follow my journey here

feel free to reach out to me!

Re: finally posting! 28 Jul 2021 03:25 #371259

  • YeshivaGuy
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Amazing man! Keep shteiging and keep us posted!!

YeshivaGuy

Re: finally posting! 31 Jul 2021 23:23 #371317

  • Smokey
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Yo 43 days clean so far! Cant believe it, so what I would attribute a lot of the reason to my success right now is keeping myself busy, making a structure and not letting yourself be bored for a few days because then I just become depressed and then masturbation is just my go to thing, also I'm working in a camp in Ukraine now in the summer and I forgot to bring along my medication which I take for anxiety and that has definitely made me feeling more stressed at certain times and prone to act out, so so far my solution has been whenever I'm feeling stressed and anxious and I just want to act out instead of fighting my feelings and trying to tell myself to be normal I call someone up and share my feelings,  don't vent away and scream the phone down but just share how your feeling anxious and stressed or whatever your feeling down about, and you don't have to share all the details if your not comfortable but just speaking to someone and communicating when your down is the best way to get back and up.

Also I've been practicing the ACT method-Acceptance and commitment therapy, and it helped me a lot, I would highly recommend the book "The happiness trap" to anybody feels that they act out when they're feeling down and depressed, it teaches you how accept bad and depressing feelings and not try to get rid of them-rather accept them, although it is not speaking specifically about P&M, if you master the concept then you wont feel the need to act out when your feeling down or at least your struggle may be easier. It was originally recommended to me by Yaakov from GYE (although it is in no place of professional help if you need it) the best part is since I have ADHD (and I know a lot of guys here also do!) and its hard for me to focus on stimulating stuff, I generally get burnt out of self help books after reading a few pages, but for this book they have an illustrated version which I got and it it makes it much more enjoyable and stimulating while still being extremely meaningful and mind changing! link to buy on amazon here. link for original book here.

Also the battle of the generation is really really helpful so a huge shout out and thanks to Hillel S. whoever he is!!! His Zchusim are tremendous, and a thanks to whoever here recommended it, because for me it has litterly been life changing.
You guys are my best ally and here for me at all times! If anyone has something to share or any comments please write them below or if you want to schmooze privately please feel free to hit me up and pm me!

all the best,

Smokey
follow my journey here

feel free to reach out to me!

Re: finally posting! 01 Aug 2021 02:56 #371321

Thanks for sharing mate! Good on you for keeping proactive and positive even in tough situations - like when you don't have your medication. Fellow ADHDer here . KOT!
If you are really bored, you can check out my original thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/305558-Journey-of-one-day-at-a-time 

"Think good and it will be good!"

Re: finally posting! 03 Aug 2021 21:23 #371400

  • ColinColin
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Well done Smokey.

Remember, take each day one at a time.

Take each hour one at a time if you need to.

Re: finally posting! 03 Aug 2021 23:29 #371407

  • Smokey
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hey guys! feel like I need to share this, you see my last post was how how to take down the tough situations and push through but i must say right now I'm feeling pretty depressed, had a really rough day (losing color war was from the easy stuff that happened:) ) a bunch of stuff went wrong and put me in a bad mood, also all the guys I'm with have smartphones and i don't have one since since i got rid of mine and i feel kind of like left out or restricted, I'm in camp so its not like im doing nothing and just with these guys, but at the end of the day i just want to lay down in bed and watch youtube or movies for the next 6 hours, hopefully everything will be alright, but i just wanted to share my feelings and also tell you guys that I'm not Mr always positive and always happy and can pull through tough situations and right now even after my whole post on Acceptance and commitment therapy i cannot unhook myself and accept the situation its just really depressing, but at least i have you guys to share this, because i couldn't get through to anyone else and honestly i feel like you guys are much more in the same boat as me, so again hopefully this all goes well and we'll all keep on hustling and pushing through because were freaking warriors of the 21st century!!!!!!! may hashem bless us!!


all the best,

smokey
follow my journey here

feel free to reach out to me!
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