So bh I'm been very busy the last few days.
So 2 days ago I had a experience that was very motivating and very fulfilling, and I'd like to share.
So I have a certain relative who is for me big nisayon, probably the biggest for me in recent years, whenever I know I'm going to be around her or see her somewhere I try to strengthen myself not look ect.
So 2 days ago on a family group there a picture in which she appeared, and I looked at it and moved on.
Only later that night in bed things from the day were going through my head and I realized that I bichlal didn't know or pay attention what clothes she was wearing, something which is normally a given with this person.
And it wasn't that I didn't stop to look at the picture, I actually paused and was thinking where is this and what's the occasion, so I stopped to contemplate the picture, but I didn't look at her as pretty thing to check out.
It's feels so good to see this change (albeit small, I still check out woman, or at least think in those terms) in my view of things.
Bezh with more work this will grow and grow