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TOPIC: Techy 873 Views

Techy 10 Jan 2020 06:29 #346616

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Hi everyone, I've been on gye for a little more than half a year. 
my journey to becoming clean started over a year in yeshiva in ארץ ישראל. Before I get into that, let me introduce myself,
I grew up in a less yeshivish family, but not modern. Ive been struggling with זרה לבטלה and po*n since i was 12. I also happen to have a very good grasp of technology. Over the years I went a month or 2 without watching but never more than 15 days of not being מוציה לבטלה. As a teenager I always thought that I'll take care of this problem once I turned 20. 
i tried a few times to stope before i turned 20, but I always found ways to bypass what others had set up to block me. I also didn't really enjoy my learning in yeshiva throughout those years/ or able even be able to think in learning. When I turned 20 I finally got fed up and started my real fight in my yeshiva I had just joined in ארץ ישראל. ץ. I struggled on and off for a few months, my longest streak was 40 days. After this vicious cycle of struggling, I came back to my yeshiva after that פסח and didnt use my smartphone, ( I used a nokia phone that had call/txt) and stayed indoors for as much as possible for 30 days, it was difficult but I made it through and I also to my suprise discovered that I really enjoy learning and actually have a brain. This streak continued through mid summer when I fell a few days before 90. I got back up after 2 falls and I've been clean since then b"h. Im currently on day 141 b"eh!!!!

from my struggles I noticed a few things:
1) this topic is not discussed enough in the yeshiva world as being as a big of a problem as it really is. 

2) for anyone whoe is tech savy, there isn't a single filter you cant bypass. I personally am learning ethicak hacking at the moment and programming. The flaws in the software available is crazy. i have ways for bypassing some of the most recommended filters.

I've had a idea for a little bit but I want to start a version on android that is kosher by design, not frankenstien packaged like a lot of kosher phones on the market. If theres anyone else who is tech savy, I'd like to hear you story and your struggles. 

הצלחה!
~ a single non dating yeshiva bochur
(i hope this thread makes sense
Last Edit: 10 Jan 2020 14:58 by N8. Reason: Typos, and clarification

Re: Techy 10 Jan 2020 14:15 #346626

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N8 wrote on 10 Jan 2020 06:29:

from my struggles I noticed a few things:
1) this topic is not discussed enough in the yeshiva world as being as a big of a problem as it really is. 

(i hope this thread makes sense)

First of all, this tread makes too much sense! Thank you for it. 

My question to you is as a yeshiva student, what do you think can be done to bring more awareness in the yeshiva world and that students should have whom to reach out to for help?

There are many people that I know personally that are willing and ready to help... You have now an opportunity to help come up with some new solutions to save the upcoming generation...
​Let's brainstorm and with Hashems help let's do something...  
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
Last Edit: 10 Jan 2020 14:24 by DavidT.

Re: Techy 10 Jan 2020 14:53 #346627

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My personal opinion is that usually guys try to get a kesher with a rebbi. So if the rabbeim from time to time give a shmuz about this topic in a vauge format and quote certain ספרים, and show that if your struggling your not crazy. Then kids will possibly open ip and talk about it. 
when I was in 9th grade, my rebbi did speak about this but he said if you have a problem with this your sick in the head, after that none of us wanted to bring it up because we were "sick in the head". 

Re: Techy 10 Jan 2020 14:56 #346628

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N8 wrote on 10 Jan 2020 14:53:
My personal opinion is that usually guys try to get a kesher with a rebbi. So if the rabbeim from time to time give a shmuz about this topic in a vauge format and quote certain ספרים, and show that if your struggling your not crazy. Then kids will possibly open ip and talk about it. 
when I was in 9th grade, my rebbi did speak about this but he said if you have a problem with this your sick in the head, after that none of us wanted to bring it up because we were "sick in the head". 

Wow! So that rebbi actually made it worse for the students, what a shame.
It seems from what you are saying that there needs to be a focus on bringing awareness to those in chinuch, how to approach and deal with these things. The problem might be (if I may have the chutzpah to say) that many of them are still struggling themselves... 
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Techy 10 Jan 2020 15:04 #346629

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Could be thats true. This rebbi ended up being my main rebbi and when I decided to take up the fight I took the time to talk to him and explain our side, Now he understands. Ive also met some rabbeim in israel who were willing to talk about this in length, and they said they usually are able to tell which guys will end upapproaching them to discuss. One had a challenge: if you restrain for 40 days , you get 1000 shekel, if you lose, you pay him 100 shekel
Last Edit: 10 Jan 2020 15:11 by N8.

Re: Techy 12 Jan 2020 01:36 #346652

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N8 wrote on 10 Jan 2020 14:53:
My personal opinion is that usually guys try to get a kesher with a rebbi. So if the rabbeim from time to time give a shmuz about this topic in a vauge format and quote certain ספרים, and show that if your struggling your not crazy. Then kids will possibly open ip and talk about it. 
when I was in 9th grade, my rebbi did speak about this but he said if you have a problem with this your sick in the head, after that none of us wanted to bring it up because we were "sick in the head". 

I am really sorry, but it looks like your Rabbi has gotten short memory.
He was probably struggling as Bucher like you do. It's maybe hard for him to admit it to his Tamidim.

I am not so techy but still managed to break through some good filters. all I do is I stopped to test and abuse the filter.
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


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Re: Techy 12 Jan 2020 04:20 #346653

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Im not sure if thats true, I've spoken to a few rabbeim and they said it was a struggle but not nearly as big as it is nowadays. To quote one of my rabbeim, "If I was in your generation, I dont know if I would have been able to stop."
the battle of our gen is different, a large amount of rabbeim maybe can't grasp how hard of a battle of it is. This lack of understanding then translates into this; that the talmidim are lazy or worse, don't care to change.

Re: Techy 12 Jan 2020 13:52 #346655

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Yes, it is long overdue that boys be told about this at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way, and open up lines of communication to spare them years of potential needless suffering. Aside from the kedusha/issur issue, so much depression and anxiety could be avoided.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Techy 13 Jan 2020 14:17 #346672

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I've spent my fair amount of time in yeshiva/kollel.  Certainly in the bigger "mainstream" yeshiva, these things are not talked about as much or as frank as they should be.  In general, people are afraid to be the pioneers.  Same with the internet/technology.  The community was 20 years behind in talking about this. 

Re: Techy 15 Jan 2020 19:46 #346729

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I've had a idea for a little bit but I want to start a version on android that is kosher by design, not frankenstien packaged like a lot of kosher phones on the market. If theres anyone else who is tech savy, I'd like to hear you story and your struggles. 

הצלחה

i have no idea on the tch side of things but i use safe telecom
it was developped by some fellows in my yishiva you can check it out and see if that is what you want

Re: Techy 15 Jan 2020 19:47 #346730

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they have a website and are trying to branch into the global market

Re: Techy 15 Jan 2020 23:09 #346734

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They created something similar but its missing a few components and a few features I have in mind.

Re: Techy 16 Jan 2020 05:24 #346743

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N8 wrote on 15 Jan 2020 23:09:
They created something similar but its missing a few components and a few features I have in mind.

I'm a little techie and have experience with both Android and iOS, as well as MDM.
Would love to hear what you have in mind.
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: Techy 16 Jan 2020 18:49 #346758

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i can give put you in touch with the guy in charge if you would like to discuss with him

Re: Techy 16 Jan 2020 23:22 #346767

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Wow! I am day 3 and I was literally feeling like falling and your article caught my eye. Why? I’m a techie too. Learning ethical hacking and programming. You know, I joined SA for some time before moving to Israel, (where I can’t seem to find a meeting) and it was really great to be able to share and be honest about my struggles. Now I sit and learn with my Chavrusa, speak to my wife, talk to my friends, and I feel fake and dirty. Literally dying out here. I feel like the yeshivas for Americans from 1st year - 3rd year do a good job however after that you are on your own, and for most of us that’s way too early. I’m married now and I still need help. It’s not enough to tell a rabbi, what happens when they’re not available, are you going to have the courage to chase them each fall!? Eventually it’s too much. I think awareness is so important. Can’t believe I’m even saying this. It’s already 2020 like wake up!!!!
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