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i've had enough
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TOPIC: i've had enough 566 Views

i've had enough 07 Nov 2019 20:22 #344990

  • nbjo
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hi, i'm a 21 year old bochur, and i've been watching porn since i was 12, and started masturbating at 18.
most of these years i didn't have constant access to the internet, but now i do so the situation got worse.
about 8 months ago i had enough and i joined GYE. i started the 90 day challenge - and made it to 60 days before falling. since then i didn't have a single clean week.
so i'm trying again now, and (even though i'm too shy to be doing this) i'm going to try to post on the forum often (hopefully).

so, here goes...

P.S. yes, i know my user name is just a jumble of letters - at the time i didn't have a better idea...

Re: i've had enough 07 Nov 2019 20:32 #344991

  • Hashem Help Me
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Welcome. It should be with hatzlocha. Stay connected. Iyh you will do well here.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: i've had enough 07 Nov 2019 23:37 #344992

  • Need a yeshua
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Great title to the topic. We all had enough! 

You will make it and do well. We will be here to cheer you on. 

Any specific triggers why you having this hard stretch? 

Hang in there! 

Re: i've had enough 08 Nov 2019 03:53 #344997

  • Street
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NMy story is quite similar to yours and I also had a few rough starts before I finally made it to 90, then fell. The trick is not to get lost even in the hard moments when your not doing well. I find it very helpful to put my urges in writing as I'm getting them as that clarifies what I'm about to do and I can't convince myself that I'm not doing anything just... Hatzalacha raba 

Re: i've had enough 08 Nov 2019 07:54 #345000

  • David26fr
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Welcome to this forum !
Stay connected with us, and don't hesitate to share your journey with this marvellous chevra, even in a few words if you are too shy...

Behatslacho

Re: i've had enough 10 Nov 2019 03:36 #345021

  • ccb45
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HI: What I'm trying to do for myself (although I'm not clean yet and have a way to go!), is the fact that MOST websites actually report that the women involved in the acts do NOT enjoy the sex.  I cannot be elaborate with those websites due to GYE policy but if you can access those sites using a google search it may be helpful.

​When I was reading this new insight it made porn so much more disgusting in my eyes that i REALLY don't want to go there again.  I don't know i i won't fall again but it's like seeing how certain food is made and still wanting to eat it.

Got it? 

Re: i've had enough 10 Nov 2019 04:42 #345022

  • nbjo
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Need a yeshua wrote on 07 Nov 2019 23:37:

Any specific triggers why you having this hard stretch? 

well, it was right at the beginning of the Pesach Bein Hazmanim, so for that month there was nothing stopping me. then afterwards it was some sort of fear of restarting if i'm anyways going to fall like i already had.
but in general i can't think of specific things that trigger me to fall, it's usually more like i'm thinking "why not..."

Re: i've had enough 10 Nov 2019 04:59 #345024

  • nbjo
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ccb45 wrote on 10 Nov 2019 03:36:
HI: What I'm trying to do for myself (although I'm not clean yet and have a way to go!), is the fact that MOST websites actually report that the women involved in the acts do NOT enjoy the sex.  I cannot be elaborate with those websites due to GYE policy but if you can access those sites using a google search it may be helpful.

​When I was reading this new insight it made porn so much more disgusting in my eyes that i REALLY don't want to go there again.  I don't know i i won't fall again but it's like seeing how certain food is made and still wanting to eat it.

Got it? 

 i hear, but for me it hasn't worked even though i know all that. and by the way there is one of the older groups on the forum that has all these facts & statistics about the porn industry (i don't know if there is a simpler way to put in a link):

guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/29812-The-other-side?limit=15&start=15#33392" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/29812-The-other-side?limit=15&start=15#33392">guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/29812-The-other-side?limit=15&start=15#33392

Re: i've had enough 10 Nov 2019 23:51 #345040

  • ColinColin
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Take the One Day Challenge.

See if you can be clean for one day.

If so, then the next day take the One Day Challenge again.

Re: i've had enough 11 Nov 2019 04:12 #345051

  • sleepy
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ColinColin wrote on 10 Nov 2019 23:51:
Take the One Day Challenge.

See if you can be clean for one day.

If so, then the next day take the One Day Challenge again.

thank you C.C. ,very well worded, One Day Challenge At A Time
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post

Re: i've had enough 11 Nov 2019 05:18 #345055

  • sleepy
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nbjo wrote on 10 Nov 2019 04:42:

Need a yeshua wrote on 07 Nov 2019 23:37:

Any specific triggers why you having this hard stretch? 


well, it was right at the beginning of the Pesach Bein Hazmanim, so for that month there was nothing stopping me. then afterwards it was some sort of fear of restarting if i'm anyways going to fall like i already had.
but in general i can't think of specific things that trigger me to fall, it's usually more like i'm thinking "why not..."

so maybe for you the plan should be on learning whats wrong with it and taking away the why not
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post

Re: i've had enough 01 Dec 2019 16:55 #345646

  • farblunjet
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how's it going? update maybe?
Longest clean streak: 10 days

Re: i've had enough 01 Dec 2019 21:51 #345652

  • evergreen
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Yo, I totally here where you are coming from - I'm 22 years old, and not long ago was riding on a year long streak from masturbation, but I've fallen since and have had trouble regaining momentum.

Not sure what would be helpful for you specifically, but I find that whenever I'm thinking "why not...." , I ask myself if I could say the same thing for addictions that I have no shaychus to (B"H), such as drugs or smoking. For me, the answer is obviously NO - it would never enter my mind to say "why not..." to take drugs or smoke. I find it's a good way of reminding myself how ridiculous it is to say "why not...." for masturbation.

Again, I'm in the same situation as you, so would love and appreciate to hear any ideas you've had that have helped with your battle. Stay strong!
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