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Work In Progress
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Work In Progress 24 Sep 2019 18:06 #343778

  • Bezrashashen
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First I would like to give  big thank you for the founder and moderators of this wonderful site that helped me tremendously since I signed up, 

My background is not much different then a lot of folks here, 
I am BH married with wonderful kids and a lovely wife, I was introduced to P and M at the age of 14 and it has been a struggle ever since, although I had little or no access until my wedding I would still act out while fantasizing... once married and got access to the web it got much worse.
I had some clean stretches here and there but always fell back after a while and would watch / read all kind of inappropriate websites.
Burich hashem after signing up to this amazing site and seeing that there are so many people out there that go through and suffer from the same lust addiction and sharing tips how to battle this issue it gave me a lot of chizuk to start the 90 day journey and BH I am clean now for 35 days and hopefully this is only the beginning and I will never fall again (I know its hard but am willing to fight)

Re: Work In Progress 24 Sep 2019 18:45 #343784

  • gyehelp2017
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Shulom Aleichem, 'Bezras Hashem' you will do great!!!
WOW!!!! 35 days is an amazing accomplishment!! keep it up, and keep us posted on your progress.
P.S. Don't forget that even after a nice stretch of clean days there can still come some hard days. But don't get scared, just as they come so too they will leave. And try to be prepared with tools in hand ahead of time, (see the GYE handbook for some great tolls and ideas). So keep strong!!!!!
Hatzlucha!!

Re: Work In Progress 25 Sep 2019 13:47 #343807

  • dave m
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Welcome onboard.  You are definitely heading in the right directions.  As gyhelp2017 noted, there will be hard days ahead.  But keep in mind that every journey to recovery has its ups and downs. 

Re: Work In Progress 25 Sep 2019 21:54 #343824

  • Hashem Help Me
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Welcome. It should be with hatzlocha. So many of us walked around thinking we were the biggest reshaim and losers. Finding out that this struggle is unfortunately very common and affects many many wonderful ehrliche people is a real game changer.  Keep posting.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Work In Progress 26 Sep 2019 19:28 #343875

  • Bezrashashen
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Thank you all for the kind words,  The community feeling I am getting here is amazing. 
BH I am 37 days clean....

Re: Work In Progress 02 Oct 2019 15:57 #343931

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BH I am now 43 days clean, 
2 months ago I would've never thought that I can be clean for so long.

Re: Work In Progress 02 Oct 2019 16:28 #343932

  • gyehelp2017
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Bezrashashen wrote on 02 Oct 2019 15:57:
BH I am now 43 days clean, 
2 months ago I would've never thought that I can be clean for so long.

Keep up your great work!! Thanks for keeping us posted!
I guess it means coming to Yom Kippur with 50 days clean!!! what a great way to enter such a holy day!! 

Re: Work In Progress 03 Oct 2019 00:55 #343945

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Bezrashashen wrote on 02 Oct 2019 15:57:
BH I am now 43 days clean, 
2 months ago I would've never thought that I can be clean for so long.

Once one is b'ezras Hashem clean for an extended amount of time, one realizes he does not NEED to act out. If one can do 43 days, he can do 430 days. There really is no difference.And if chas v'shalom one falls at some point, the yetzer hora cant tell him its impossible to get past a few days, because he has already BH seen he can move on. Hatzlocha chaver! Keep it up and keep posting.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Work In Progress 03 Oct 2019 02:49 #343947

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Hashem Help Me wrote on 03 Oct 2019 00:55:

Bezrashashen wrote on 02 Oct 2019 15:57:
BH I am now 43 days clean, 
2 months ago I would've never thought that I can be clean for so long.

Once one is b'ezras Hashem clean for an extended amount of time, one realizes he does not NEED to act out. If one can do 43 days, he can do 430 days. There really is no difference.And if chas v'shalom one falls at some point, the yetzer hora cant tell him its impossible to get past a few days, because he has already BH seen he can move on. Hatzlocha chaver! Keep it up and keep posting.

Accordingly, if one can do 430 days, he can do 43 as well, and he can tell the yetzer hara that he can move on and he will.
i'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble ....

if you're looking for trouble, you can email me @trouble69gye@outlook.com

Re: Work In Progress 03 Oct 2019 08:07 #343953

  • lionking
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Trouble wrote on 03 Oct 2019 02:49:

Hashem Help Me wrote on 03 Oct 2019 00:55:

Bezrashashen wrote on 02 Oct 2019 15:57:
BH I am now 43 days clean, 
2 months ago I would've never thought that I can be clean for so long.

Once one is b'ezras Hashem clean for an extended amount of time, one realizes he does not NEED to act out. If one can do 43 days, he can do 430 days. There really is no difference.And if chas v'shalom one falls at some point, the yetzer hora cant tell him its impossible to get past a few days, because he has already BH seen he can move on. Hatzlocha chaver! Keep it up and keep posting.

Accordingly, if one can do 430 days, he can do 43 as well, and he can tell the yetzer hara that he can move on and he will.

I flunked my logic tests. However according to the laws of practical reality, it is actually harder to do 43 days after 430 days, versus doing 430 after 43. 
How's everything by you, my friend?
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: Work In Progress 03 Oct 2019 18:59 #343966

  • Bezrashashen
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And now 44 days Burich hashem....!!!!

I am blown away by all the comments and support it means a lot to me thank you everyone..

What helped me a lot staying clean is a major mind shift that I made after reading GYE for a month,

Lust vs Pleasure,
heard a good vort from R' Noach Weinberg, how can one differentiate between lust and pleasure? if when you'r done with the act you feel down and depressed then its lust, but if when done you feel like running a marathon then its true pleasure, 
it opened up my brain to start thinking before looking at women to be aware to my inner battle, heart is saying look look, but my brain kicks in and says its just lust keep your eyes to the ground and it will pass,
I made it into a mental exercise when seeing a women from afar I test myself if I can keep my eyes to the ground until she passes, and it works my shmiras einiyim since i started the 90 day count is on a level that I never thought is possible for someone that holds a job and is between people throughout the day. 

Thank you all.

Re: Work In Progress 04 Oct 2019 04:44 #343986

  • gyehelp2017
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Bezrashashen wrote on 03 Oct 2019 18:59:
And now 44 days Burich hashem....!!!!

I am blown away by all the comments and support it means a lot to me thank you everyone..

And thank you for sharing with us your success, it helps us all around here to see another success story.
Keep on posting, you are doing great!

Re: Work In Progress 04 Oct 2019 09:55 #343992

  • gye5770
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Hello and welcome to the forum. A great place to be.
Keep strong and if a fantasy or something comes up tell it to go away it often listens sometimes it needs some more willpower but it works. Also take one day at a time, tomorrow is another day.
Good Luck

Re: Work In Progress 28 Oct 2019 20:02 #344619

  • Bezrashashen
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HI all,
Burich hashem I am 69 days clean now, its my longest stretch in a long time.

While still clean, the initial excitement of counting clean days has faded already,  updating the 90 day count doesn't give me the high it gave me the first few weeks the nisyones are getting harder and stronger.

Any tips or ideas how to keep strong and encouraged to keep on going would be appreciated..

Thank you all,

Re: Work In Progress 28 Oct 2019 20:31 #344620

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The point is not the number of days. It is teaching yourself how to think in a healthy way about sexuality, urges, etc. Now that you have shown yourself that there is life without it, try to figure out what role acting out played for you - stress relief, covering up feelings of rejection, time filler upper,.... and now find healthy ways to deal with those issues. 
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE
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