Hello Everyone,

I had been struggling with this problem for many many years. I have tried different things to try to overcome, but none have yet succeeded. I have told myself over and over again to just stop. My struggle and problem is with internet use. Perhaps I am not trying hard enough. Perhaps my path is incorrect. How do I get back to myself, back to Hashem, back to my family and be joyful like the Ish in Tehilim?

yidanochi

Hi yidanochi,
​Happy to have another sincere person as you join us here on GYE. Try the tools from this great site and see what works for you, everyone here has their own recipe that works best for them. So stick around , and keep on posting your questions/comments (and even c"v falls).............. and you will get some great advice from so many who 'have be there' already and have recovered.
Hatzlucha raba!! 

Welcome to a great place. Here if you hang around, b'ezras Hashem you will get better. For starters, where are you watching the shmutz? At home? At work? Phone? Is there a reason that device is not properly filtered?

Welcome Yid
I also have the same problem, you are in the right place - have a look what others did and what worked for them and try it out yourself. 
What worked by me?
I put a filter on my computer as well as a filter in my head, the head filter is easy to circumvent but the feeling afterwards is not that great which makes me down which makes me more acceptable of acting on my desires. So the first step for me is - to really want it in my head and then put a filter on the computer that if something pops up it gets stopped.

I think I need the filter in my head to work best.

The problem has evolved over the years. Now it is mostly the phone at work.
I have not filtered because I have circumvented filters in the past, and that I’m concerned family will see the filter on my phone. I don’t know who to entrust the filter code with.

I will be a little harsh, but what is the worse for your wife : telling her that you will install a filter on your phone, like the recommandations of ALL gedolim of our generation, and that you are protecting yourself from shmutz... or she find that you have looked to shmutz on your phone ?

I was in that situation some years ago, and if the answer is now obvious to me, I know that this a typical plea of the yetser hara to prevent us of installing a filter...

Also, in many cases, the addiction is just a symptom and not the root cause...
Did you try to analyze what are the triggers that lead you to falls ? It could be stress, tiredness, anger, anxiety...
The real work will be to work on them... And then, the desire will decrease.

To be like the Ish in Tehillim, you have to be constantly growing in your yiddishkeit, such as coming closer to Hashem, working on your middos, learning, and creating meaning in your mitzvos. Why don't you try listening to some lectures from Rabbi Ben Zion Shafier? He has uplifting speeches on a variety of topics that bring meaning to Yiddishkeit. See his website www.TheShmuz.com. (It's free.) Changed my life and many others' too. (And he also has a great series about tayva called The Fight. Check that out too.)

Also why don't you try reading a couple of pages a day from an ebook on this topic? See here: https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks. My favorite is this one: https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation? It strikes a great balance between helping the reader not feel down and helping him get moving in the right direction. It's encouraging, practical, and guilt-trip free too!

Wishing you much success! Be'ezras Hashem, by next Elul you'll be writing a testimonial about you because like the Ish in Tehillim!

I can also only recommend Rabbi Shaffiers books he is very good and spot on this topic. When i feel like browsing the internet, i now read his books instead.
Good luck