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Almost at 90, Need some help
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TOPIC: Almost at 90, Need some help 763 Views

Almost at 90, Need some help 08 Sep 2019 22:55 #343440

  • AStrugglingJew
  • Current streak: 286 days
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 10
  • Karma: 1
Baruch Hashem, after a lot of hard work, siyata dishmaya, using filters and the taphsic method I am almost at 90 days. 

After I got into the high 30s, the desire really started to fade away, and it got easier and easier to not fall again. 

However, recently, my tayvas started coming back. I have zero tayva to actually fall and watch the real shmutz, because I know how much work I have put in and I just know that the pain is going to be so much more than whatever moment of pleasure I get. However, I do have tayva  to look at attractive women (online and in person) who are dresses, just not tznius, so I was wondering if anyone could help me with that and if anyone has any advice to stop giving into that desire.

And, second. Anyone have any insights when one can start dating. I feel mostly under control, only slightly scared that I will relapse, but how safe and secure should I feel. 


Re: Almost at 90, Need some help 09 Sep 2019 12:50 #343451

  • Dave M
  • Current streak: 466 days
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 247
  • Karma: 9

First of all, mazol tov on reaching this point in your battle! That is a big accomplishment.  I actually remembered also going through a weak moment when I reached 75 days.  Thankfully, after holding strong that day, the urge went away.  Have you identified what may have triggered these feelings?

Regarding your second question. Do you have a rebbe or a mentor that you feel comfortable discussing this with?  It is a big decision that cannot be answered on an anonymous forum.  It need to be discussed with someone that knows you and background. 

Re: Almost at 90, Need some help 10 Sep 2019 21:29 #343486

  • ColinColin
  • Current streak: 164 days
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 408
  • Karma: 5
Lust can attack in waves....peaks and troughs.

Take it day by day.

every day for the rest of your life.

Use mindfulness..make the lust a "thought"..see it as an external thought rather than an internal intrinsic part of yourself.
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