Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest

Introducing, me
(0 viewing) 
Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!
  • Page:
  • 1

TOPIC: Introducing, me 1127 Views

Introducing, me 02 Jun 2019 20:05 #341579

  • Yesh Tikvah
  • Current streak: 8 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 3
  • Karma: 0
Hi fellow strugglers.
My name is Yesh Tikvah, at least that's my handle, and I have never been on a form before. Internet addiction is not my MO, phone sex is, and for some 25 years now I've been struggling with that. I was doing very well but I recently had a fall after a long time. So I realize that I need a broader network of fellow soldiers who are working on their kedusha and tahara like I am. Hopefully I'll be a regular on this forum and will be able to get and give chizuk to others.
Thank you and I hope I did this right but I'm not sure , and if there's things that should be corrected for posting on the Forum please let me know.  Thanks.
YT

Re: Introducing, me 03 Jun 2019 03:03 #341585

  • iwillnevergiveup
  • Current streak: 37 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Junior Boarder
  • Posts: 34
  • Karma: 1
Been around for a while, this is my first time posting. 
I'm trying to get to 90 days but can’t get through a week without acting out.   If you have any suggestions how to crush the desire when it creeps up after being clean for a week. Please reply 

Re: Introducing, me 03 Jun 2019 03:24 #341587

  • Sidewayz
  • Current streak: 121 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 19
  • Karma: 0
iwillnevergiveup wrote on 03 Jun 2019 03:03:
Been around for a while, this is my first time posting. 
I'm trying to get to 90 days but can’t get through a week without acting out.   If you have any suggestions how to crush the desire when it creeps up after being clean for a week. Please reply 

A very potent tool you can use is being in touch with people over the phone. Lust feeds off being in seclusion and generates our own little world with just us and our lust. Once we get out of ourselves and speak to other people about what’s going on then lust loses its power on us. As well the strongest driving force humans have is for connection, with people/god/family and lust is something that we use to fill this gap which as we know can never be filled with something as fake as lust so when we reach out to other people and feel connected to them it fills this hole that needs to be filled. 
If you wanna be in touch over the phone I would be glad to speak.
hatzlacha 

Re: Introducing, me 03 Jun 2019 07:40 #341591

  • Yesh Tikvah
  • Current streak: 8 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 3
  • Karma: 0
Hi Sidewayz,
I would love another person to be able to connect with over the phone. I  not a digital guy and I already have a daily accountability partner but I know that I need to build a larger network of contacts to be in touch with on a regular basis and when struggling. My number is 464 248 8595. Feel free to call and I will respond when I can.
Thanks.
And everyone else is welcome to call me at this Google voice number

Re: Introducing, me 03 Jun 2019 11:26 #341593

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 1071 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1942
Welcome to both of you! It should be with hatzlocha!
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Introducing, me 03 Jun 2019 13:36 #341594

  • Sidewayz
  • Current streak: 121 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 19
  • Karma: 0
Yesh Tikvah wrote on 03 Jun 2019 07:40:
Hi Sidewayz,
I would love another person to be able to connect with over the phone. I  not a digital guy and I already have a daily accountability partner but I know that I need to build a larger network of contacts to be in touch with on a regular basis and when struggling. My number is 464 248 8595. Feel free to call and I will respond when I can.
Thanks.
And everyone else is welcome to call me at this Google voice number

The number doesn’t work

Re: Introducing, me 03 Jun 2019 14:18 #341595

  • Readyforhelp
  • Current streak: 36 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 13
  • Karma: 2
Great advise sidewayz. I've been on gye for 2 weeks now and I found that connecting with others whether via phone, email, or chat has helped me get to 2 weeks so far which is the longest I've gone in the last little while.

Re: Introducing, me 03 Jun 2019 17:12 #341598

  • Yesh Tikvah
  • Current streak: 8 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 3
  • Karma: 0
Whoops. Sorry. It's 424 248 8595 not 464. Love to hear from you and anyone else

Re: Introducing, me 03 Jun 2019 17:43 #341599

  • grateful4life
  • Current streak: 1000 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Administrator
  • Posts: 66
  • Karma: 28
iwillnevergiveup wrote on 03 Jun 2019 03:03:
Been around for a while, this is my first time posting. 
I'm trying to get to 90 days but can’t get through a week without acting out.   If you have any suggestions how to crush the desire when it creeps up after being clean for a week. Please reply 

Congrats on your first post! Should be the first of many! Seeing people working on themselves and posting on the forum gives chizuk to everyone!

Regarding your question, much has already been written on this subject and getting real recovery is not a quick fix. Almost all of us on GYE didn't come here the day we acted out for the first time or the day after that, so it takes a while to completely rewire ourselves from the years of acting out. 

If you ask 10 people with a year plus of recovery for their method of success, you may get 10 different answers. Other than severe addicts, GYE and its community of recovering strugglers can help pretty much everyone. (If you are not sure if you're an addict, think of a drug addict. Drugs are completely destroying his life. The addict knows this and yet he is willing to risk everything to get his fix - he is completely out of control. Most GYE members are not that severe.)

To me, what seems to work for most GYE members is sharing openly and honestly about their challenges via forum, chat, phone, in person etc. (when you take the skeletons out of the darkness of your closet and begin to "shed light" on them, they begin to shrink), reading about the science of this struggle and understanding yourself to the point of avoiding triggers, and connecting with others in recovery - in times of crisis (before acting out) and non critical times (as a preventative measure). 
Overall taking a pro active approach is key. The amount of work one can do to work on himself is quite extensive and the more you put in the more you get out.
Additionally, the above measures should be taken along with a heavy dose of tefilah, constantly expressing gratitude on the good we have and all the "small" miracles,  and finding healthy substitutes to acting out (i.e. a good hobby, exercising, healthy eating/sleep etc.).
Lastly, just two "Lo Sa'asei's"  to keep in mind that always trip people up:
1. Thou shall NOT beat yourself up - it never fixes any problem so just focus on the task ahead.
2. Thou shall NOT isolate - for us strugglers, isolation has a 100% guarantee of relapse. 

Hatzlacha on your journey and enjoy the ride!
  • Page:
  • 1
Time to create page: 0.44 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes