Day 1 (I hope)

I had the same "epiphany" yesterday that I have had many times before. Sobriety for me can't mean only that I haven't looked at pornography. It means that I have been acting responsibly and staying off my bottom lines. I had ~45 days but they were filled with escapism (during work hours) including tv, podcasts, comics, online articles, etc. A couple of the things I looked at had inappropriate material sprinkled throughout other appropriate material, but I knew almost for certain that there would be those inappropriate images and would scroll past them quickly but look while I did it. Today I am going to try to stay focused on one thing at a time and just do my work with no distraction. I will probably post some writing exercises that my sponsor has suggested as I will use this forum to record my process.

Thanks you for sharing your challenges and telling us what is on your mind when you do the things you do - It's like reading the Diary of a Wimpy Kid where he tells you what he is thinking. I sounds like you are introspective.

The internet has changed the way many of us think.

The old days of reading a book, staying focussed on one thing...long gone.

Now we move from thought to thought, article to article.
We don't concentrate on linear thought so much, we don't follow a narrative so much.

So do not be hard on yourself for the way you work.

Knowing the correct question to ask is half the answer. With that said, curtail as many things as you can in a methodical way and the brain can readjust to the good old days. How: find the falsehood and remove it don't look for the truth! Truth is a diamond under rubbish, do you jump into the rubbish or remove it to get the diamond?