So I was clean for a long time but fell so hard I'm back where I started. I'm planning on writing every day or other day as a method I hope will help me. Today was meant to b my first clean day but guess what it wasn't I'm still in this spiral downward and I'm hoping to help myself before I reach the bottom. So just did the act and feel as empty as possible. But for the next 24 hours this is going to be different  
Cmon son u got this 

It is common that when you fall after a long time of being clean, you fall hard.

Main thing is to understand why you fall.

Then work on that cause or causes.

If you write every day, a creative outlet, that will help.

I too was clean for a long time then, fell, but am now thank G-D clean again for a while.
You can take it day by day and keep clean.

So this is what day one looks like,still have the motivation!!! out of experience I know that for me the first week is the hardest, and then it goes pretty smooth till one day.  Anyway bh today went great. I'm looking forward to another great day tomz

How are you doing?