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TOPIC: Double life 1053 Views

Double life 14 Mar 2019 11:28 #339657

  • Breakfreenow
  • Current streak: 348 days
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 6
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Good day,
It's taken me a while to get here, I have been here once before but just as a visitor and got really scared and never came back until today.
Other people would call me a Rabbi, or a Community leader, but the reason I am here is I live a Double life.
I am BH Married with children.
but I seek more than just porn I seek out online people to talk to others that can make me feel useful and needed, people I feel I can "help" I know that its Shtuyot.. and that's why I am here!
I hope and pray to Hashem that he gives me the Koach i need to continue and stay strong to overcome this challenge...

Re: Double life 14 Mar 2019 18:19 #339680

  • 360gye
  • Current streak: 760 days
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 223
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A lot of people feel they are living a double life, you are not alone and it will get better. 

Thank you for building up the courage to come here and introduce yourself, its not easy to talk about this.

If you feel the need to talk to someone privately, i would like to help you and listen. my email is
Last Edit: 14 Mar 2019 19:16 by 360gye.

Re: Double life 14 Mar 2019 19:08 #339686

  • Workingguy
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1150
  • Karma: 138
Yup, I think a lot of us here are leading a double life. I too am some sort of community leader type of thing; it's very difficult to live a double life. It eats away, and definitely another reason to work on it. But many here know how you feel. 

Do you just "chat to help" or you get more involved than that? 

Re: Double life 17 Mar 2019 02:00 #339728

  • Hakolhevel
  • Current streak: 39 days
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 299
  • Karma: 24
BF ( best friend:)

I love the subject, I think many here are tormented by the same problem. Double life. I to am a community leader and it was eating me up at times.

Hatzlacha on your new journey
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

Re: Double life 17 Mar 2019 02:34 #339730

  • Shteigen613
  • Junior Boarder
  • Posts: 25
  • Karma: 1
Question: Is there anyone here NOT leading a double life?
meaning, here we are, trying to be understood, trying to break free, trying to get rid of this pesky yetzer hara...
and at the same time maintaining a public persona as someone who is not ill effected by the taavos of this world. 
gee, I do feel like a hypocrite sometimes.
although, I take a look at my latest streak, and feel good about myself. I know I'm not perfect (far from it) but I'm one step away from a be'er shachas.
so, I go from feeling like a hypocrite, to feeling like a lamed vuv nik... (and then back again!)
double- good luck making it work.
I hope that this is the first step towards a journey of sobriety.
in another post, someone wrote "if people would just know who i am, they wouldn't like me"
someone else replied ,"but if they really knew who you were, that would understand your struggles and they would honor you."
I commend you for.coming forward

Re: Double life 17 Mar 2019 03:21 #339739

  • ColinColin
  • Current streak: 107 days
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I do not understand what you mean by "I seek out online people to talk to others that can make me feel useful and needed"

Surely your job as Rabbi is very much about this, helping people?
What are you seeking when you go online?
Last Edit: 17 Mar 2019 03:22 by ColinColin.

Re: Double life 17 Mar 2019 06:16 #339748

  • doingtshuva
  • Current streak: 10 days
  • Platinum Boarder
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  • Karma: 32
Welcome Rabbi, I not sure there is still place for you on the head table.
We are from all backgrounds, From Rabbis till garbage collectors.

Here on GYE we can seek out to people to talk and to help.
Hatzluche raba

 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.

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