Hi to everyone here...

I was led to this place through lots of lonesome feelings and am hoping for a bit of brotherly encouragement to help me out. I am 33 years old, married, and have been struggling with this addiction for about 16 years. Only recently have I begun to appreciate how my struggle is an addiction and each time I say it, I feel that it is sinking in further. I have been living a secret for a while, only letting a few rebbeim know and one therapist. I don't think I have a high level addiction, based upon how often I act out and how my falls manifest themselves. I want very much to remove this part of my life but I have a feeling that I will be aware of this struggle for the rest of my life and am trying to come to terms with that. 

I'm still alone writing on the computer and am waiting for people to hold my hand and let me know that everything I've gone thru is normal, even somewhat to be expected and that my life will work out and how to go about moving forward.

Hi ,i personally have a very similar struggle to yours ,i just joined gye .With g\Gods help andlots of determination and help BH well recover from this 

Hello and welcome

Getting out of isolation is really important so it's great that you are opening up here
Dont worry about being aware of this struggle for the rest of your life- this is an issue you have and you have and you need to deal with the same way you would have to deal with a physical health issue , beside for the fact that if you are not aware of the problem than your not trying to fix it..
stay around and iyH we will be there to encourage you through this recovery process

Hatzlacha!

Welcome,

Have you read the GYE Handbook?  There are alot of great perspective on this specific nisayon and is a great source of chizuk for me.

First identify why you fall.

Is it lust?

Or more linked to depression/loneliness?

Thanks for your insight. I think both but mainly loneliness. 

My reason for falling is loneliness, 9 times out of 10.
I am taking steps to deal with this.
I will make more time to phone friends and family for a chat and if possible meet them.

I also make sure I affirm every day that  knwo I have a weakness from this.
So if no one can chat or meet, I make sure I exercise, watch a film, or read a book.

And davening and studying too.

The key is to do a positive activity instead of aimless internet browsing for graphic images etc.

Ok thank you for the tip. And thanks very much for all your support. I feel like I've heard this a bunch already so i figure you've all heard it too, but its very encouraging to hear so many people who are similar to me who say a similar hopeful message. I don't feel like it's hopeless for me but i know I need to deal with this and get healing.

HHi there what you are going through sounds pretty normal to me.
I am 26 and I've been masturbating for also around 14 15 years. I am on a journey which started around two years ago when I joined GYE. I have found a lot of encouragement and hope here. I see lots of growth in the lust/masturbation area as well as in my general emotional health. I am a much happier person, more fulfilled; I am more comfortable in my own skin. In short you've come to a great place. Use it well. We're all here for you.
Feel free to email me @ mikefineroth@gmail.com