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cant find the will
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TOPIC: cant find the will 646 Views

cant find the will 23 Jan 2019 17:16 #338608

hi im 21 have been masterbating for years i realy want to stop and get rid of all this stuff ive tried many things but cant get going and sometimes that i most want to stop i cant find the will in me at all to refrain can anyone be hashems shliach to help me

Re: cant find the will 23 Jan 2019 18:51 #338611

  • 360gye
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Welcome,
GYE is full of different tools to help you stay clean, along with all the great people here.
I'd be happy to help you if you want. my email is 360gye@gmail.com

Re: cant find the will 23 Jan 2019 22:46 #338623

  • doingtshuva
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mamishagevald wrote on 23 Jan 2019 17:16:
hi im 21 have been masterbating for years i realy want to stop and get rid of all this stuff ive tried many things but cant get going and sometimes that i most want to stop i cant find the will in me at all to refrain can anyone be hashems shliach to help me

If your struggle is only with masturbating I would advise you to first read the Handbook.
We can provide you with info but the will to stop has to come from your side. 
You need a will and then a plan
hatzlacha raba
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


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Re: cant find the will 23 Jan 2019 22:47 #338625

  • doingtshuva
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 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


Gye program + Handbook  -  Phone conferences  -  Taphsik method  -  90 day chart  -  Ebooks  -  Shiurim  -  Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski  -  Recent topics on the Forum

Re: cant find the will 23 Jan 2019 23:33 #338626

  • ColinColin
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Clearly identify why you mastubate.

Is it mainly lust, or using it to block emotional pain?

Then you can make a plan.

Re: cant find the will 27 Jan 2019 22:02 #338687

  • Shmiras_3.0
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if you end-up needing the 12 steps.     you will discover that it's not WILLPOWER that you lack, but simply TOO MUCH SELF CONTROLL and unbridled willpower in most aspects of your day-to-day life!

If you'r progressive recovery brings you to using "stepwork" to counter addictive behaviors, than in step 1 you will "stop" not by willpower, but by surrender.          I probably sound like some Buddhist guru-monk..


As an aside, what do you have against the pleasure of masturbation, frankly almost everyone I met in SA enjoys it? is it the guilt?  is it the עוון? is the about living a double life?   is it wasting your time?   is it filling your computer with viruses or ransomware?  has it got you embarrassed?   does it contrast or contradict the education your where given?   is it in contradiction with the values you where raised on?  is it something you wouldn't want your [future] kids to do at this stage of their lives?   Is it so much out of control that it ruins your life?  is your "bottom" uncomfortable on the yeshiva's toilet seat?    are roommates complaining that you used up all the hot water?                [b]fyi[/b] if anyone here is having trouble doing step 1,  elaborate on these questions and add more of your own]

If you want to see the מראה מקום for this...   ראה ספר אמונות ודעות לרב סעדיה גאון מאמר י  honestly see the whole thing, but there are 2 specific chapters there that deal with lust addiction, others deal with OvereatersAnonymous
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