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Trying to elevate my shmiras einayim
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TOPIC: Trying to elevate my shmiras einayim 15108 Views

Re: Trying to elevate my shmiras einayim 11 Mar 2022 17:25 #378475

  • 5Uu80*cdwB#^
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Amazing, Dave M!
Regarding what you wrote: "Still having urges as the images of what I've looked at continues to float around in my head."

This is very understandable. I want to say that what can keep these images in your head indefinitely is if you engage and attend to them. What will help them fade is by letting them wash right out of your thoughts just like they washed in, like a wave that comes and goes. If the image enters your mind, simply think to yourself something like, "Huh, that's an interesting thought. Anyway, moving on now. What's up next in my day?" Or anything like that. Do not engage the imagery. Do not attend to the imagery. Do not ask yourself why you are suffering from such thoughts. Do not think "I'm a bad person because I just had this thought." The more time you spend on that thought, the worse off you are.
If you practice just treating thoughts as something you can either engage or simply move on and let it pass, you will have so much menuchas hanefesh. I have personally witness a transformation in my life because of this realization. If you engage the imagery and attend to it, it will come back stronger and more frequently, EVEN after having stopped looking with your eyes. If you just say, "Huh, that's interesting, but moving on...", you're set to succeed.
If you are wondering why you can't stop masturbating even though you're guarding your eyes, it's because you're fantasizing.

Re: Trying to elevate my shmiras einayim 13 Mar 2022 17:33 #378519

  • dave m
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Day 7.  Shabbos went well.  Besides the enjoyment of the day and spending good quality time with my family, Shabbos is usually the easiest day in this battle, as I am not in front of the computer all day.

Re: Trying to elevate my shmiras einayim 13 Mar 2022 19:05 #378529

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Dave M wrote on 13 Mar 2022 17:33:
Day 7.  Shabbos went well.  Besides the enjoyment of the day and spending good quality time with my family, Shabbos is usually the easiest day in this battle, as I am not in front of the computer all day.

Now let's figure out how we can take along the menucha and kedusha of shabbos for the rest of the week... 
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Trying to elevate my shmiras einayim 13 Mar 2022 19:56 #378534

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DavidT wrote on 13 Mar 2022 19:05:

Dave M wrote on 13 Mar 2022 17:33:
Day 7.  Shabbos went well.  Besides the enjoyment of the day and spending good quality time with my family, Shabbos is usually the easiest day in this battle, as I am not in front of the computer all day.

Now let's figure out how we can take along the menucha and kedusha of shabbos for the rest of the week... 

Absolutely,  I dont think we are the first to ask that question.....

Re: Trying to elevate my shmiras einayim 15 Mar 2022 13:08 #378642

  • dave m
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5Uu80*cdwB#^ wrote on 11 Mar 2022 17:25:
Amazing, Dave M!
Regarding what you wrote: "Still having urges as the images of what I've looked at continues to float around in my head."

This is very understandable. I want to say that what can keep these images in your head indefinitely is if you engage and attend to them. What will help them fade is by letting them wash right out of your thoughts just like they washed in, like a wave that comes and goes. If the image enters your mind, simply think to yourself something like, "Huh, that's an interesting thought. Anyway, moving on now. What's up next in my day?" Or anything like that. Do not engage the imagery. Do not attend to the imagery. Do not ask yourself why you are suffering from such thoughts. Do not think "I'm a bad person because I just had this thought." The more time you spend on that thought, the worse off you are.
If you practice just treating thoughts as something you can either engage or simply move on and let it pass, you will have so much menuchas hanefesh. I have personally witness a transformation in my life because of this realization. If you engage the imagery and attend to it, it will come back stronger and more frequently, EVEN after having stopped looking with your eyes. If you just say, "Huh, that's interesting, but moving on...", you're set to succeed.

Great advice.  Obviously easier said then done, but still does not excuse me for implementing. I believe R' Shafier also mentions this technique on his "Fight" series.  

9 days clean now. 

Re: Trying to elevate my shmiras einayim 15 Mar 2022 17:19 #378655

  • dave m
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Having some strong urges now.  Almost looked twice, but pulled back.  Just need to take a deep breath and work through this. 

Re: Trying to elevate my shmiras einayim 15 Mar 2022 17:24 #378656

  • vehkam
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Don’t forget to use the opportunity to daven for something meaningful
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: Trying to elevate my shmiras einayim 20 Mar 2022 15:07 #378797

  • dave m
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14 days clean.  There was one day last week that wasn't so good.  But besides that one day, the other days went really well b"h. I also started the Taphsic method.  I had done one maybe a couple of years ago and it worked well for a while before fizzling out due to not renewing it and not reviewing it on a more consistent basis.  This one is until Pesach (30 days).  Hopefully this will help keep the momentum. 

Re: Trying to elevate my shmiras einayim 30 Mar 2022 11:58 #379350

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24 days clean

Re: Trying to elevate my shmiras einayim 05 Apr 2022 13:38 #379616

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30 days clean 

Re: Trying to elevate my shmiras einayim 26 Apr 2022 13:43 #380126

  • dave m
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51 days clean.

Pesach went well B'H.  It's a busy time and I took off work, which makes it easier since I do not have to spend much time in front of the computer. 

Yesterday I had a slight slip up, when I accidently saw an immodest picture in a news article.  I spent a few seconds gazing at it and clicked on it.  Now, the image is still in mind and and my lust level is a bit heighted.  It also brought back some older images that I've tried to bury.  I know from experience that I just need to be extra careful over the next few days and the lust level will subside. 

Re: Trying to elevate my shmiras einayim 16 May 2022 14:01 #380775

  • dave m
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B'H 71 days clean.

As the weather warms up, I need to be extra vigilant. 

Re: Trying to elevate my shmiras einayim 16 May 2022 15:32 #380777

  • yeshivaguy
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Don’t have much to say besides you should know I follow your journey and may you have continued hatzlocha

Re: Trying to elevate my shmiras einayim 17 May 2022 14:21 #380818

  • dave m
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Yesterday was not a great day in guarding my eyes.  I Looked at things I should not have.  There not much to say but I was able to resist for a few hours.  

Re: Trying to elevate my shmiras einayim 17 May 2022 14:57 #380819

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The few hours you resisted are infinitely valuable. Do not let that slip prevent you from moving forward in your growth.
If you are wondering why you can't stop masturbating even though you're guarding your eyes, it's because you're fantasizing.
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