Hi fellow sufferers thanks for being there for me and us, just your being there thinking like me is tremendous help. I am 98 days clean but have not posted before. Just had worst struggle since joined GYE, no one at home, was on verge of clicking on website 'just to have a quick look'. Managed to go to chizuk emails instead, was 2 or 3 days behind on reading them, B.H one made a big impression, my kids standing behind me watching to see what I was going to do. What a tremendous image. The others helped also but none as much as that one. Would certainly have fallen today. This vicious pursuer never leaves off, not after 90 days even. BH knowing we are all together in this makes it manageable somehow, THANK YOU RIBONO SHEL OLOM AND THANK YOU GYE for keeping my head above water, nearly drowned just now. Should be OK for the rest of the day, and tomorrow iy'h it starts again.

Thanks for posting! It's a big chizuk when you hear that someone has made it as far as you. Would you mind sharing how you got so far? It would be appreciated tons

Thank you, don't know logically how I got so far - but know that joining GYE was admission of defeat that couldn't do it on my own -  thought for years I could, and failed every time, in spite of davening, davening and more davening (the only thing I ever put a kvitel for in the Kosel was this) so maybe Hashem saw that and said ok now I see a bit of humility, I'll give you a Hand - who knows - all I know is that knowing that so many good people out there in this with me helps tremendously, feel I have acharayus, feel that we are all behind each other and can't let you others down, don't want to lose that number of days on the homepage, and somehow its been more controllable. It has not gone away but taking it day by day. May Hashem help all of us.