Hey guys.
I am currently having a rough time at work with co-workers getting close to me.
I brought it up to my frum boss, however, it was not too helpful. I have had the issue in a prior job as well.
Does anyone have advice?

Are you able to explain to your co-workers that you're orthodox and you don't get too close with women

They hear me out and do it over and over again.

Is it possible that you have told them this, but when it comes down to it and you are speaking to them, you are sending them signals that speak differently than your words?

Such as, joking, smiling, leaning in, affectionate comments, complimenting, or even unnecessary shmuzing?

Besides telling them that you are orthodox, you should back it up with your behavior. Are you acting in a strictly professional manner with your female coworkers?

Not claiming to be an expert at all, just thought that made sense.

hi    n.c.18  hatzlacha in your uncomfortable  situation ,are the workers jewish, orthodox,,are you married,at my job there was a non jew who kept on tapping me on my shoulder  and i told her after the first tap (didnt want her to think its ok and then after shes used to it ,ill spring it on her hey ,no tapping )anyhow a new worker came and after i heard some giggleing  she touched me  on my elbow as if to tell me something  related to work of course ,and i gave her the cold shoulder "im jewish ,we dont touch women," she knew that i wouldnt appreciate the touch,im sure, but  it was a type of starting up.
im sure its not your fault,but i think hakol milimala is mentioning a good check list,which i  could see myself slipping up good naturedly ,not thinking it will give any type of message ,hatzlacha raba again.
i would ask what kind of getting close but could be  its not important,maybe its just  my lust asking, i thought it would give a better picture.

Needchizuk18 wrote on 30 Jan 2018 21:00:


Stop using deodorant? Haha you sound like such a stud. How do you do that? Wait don't tell me

Hi NC18,
welcome! It would be helpful for you to share more about yourself. It is extremely difficult for anyone to offer advice without knowing all details.
Are you married? Is the office predominantly Frum? Is the problem with jewish coworkers or gentile?
(some cultures find it normal to flirt with someone not wearing a wedding ring:wink:)

From your question, it sounds like you feel this is their problem, they cannot respect your religious beliefs.

I really don't know anything about you, so don't take this harshly. I just want to raise some thoughts to ponder.
Did you ever check them out even when they aren't looking?
Have you ever thought a lustful thought about them?
Has your eyes ever wandering lower than their face when talking to them?
Our brainwaves communicate more powerful messages than our mouths.
How about speaking to a Rav, mentor who knows you personally?
Do you pray every day before going to work, for Shmira?
Wishing you much Hatzlocha IY"H.