I have already the used the program on the website. Including restricting the selection. I have not found anyone suitable. I will explain my situation below, and whoever thinks they can help me, please email me at endingevil@gmail.com. 

Ok, here's my story: I have struggled for many years. I mostly waste time with masturbating to Internet pornography. However, it's also possible now that I got an STI. I've done some risky things sexually, and as far as I'm concerned, I've hit "rock bottom" and it's time for a better life that I feel is only possible through either the 12-step program for addicts or something very much like it. I know that I just want to meet my Bashert and just have sex with her, rather than masturbate, and I know that with recovery, as well as how to disclose an addiction, when to disclose it, and what to disclose is all very tricky, and the same questions apply if I have an STI. I need guidance on all of this, for how to discuss this with women I date.

I'm in my early thirties, I am single, and Modern Orthodox. I need a sponsor, a partner, a Rabbi, a doctor, to live more meaningfully, get married. I'm in the greater Washginton DC Metro area. I want someone Modern Orthodox, preferably someone who has dated and has had good experience bringing up addiction with women. 

I’m not sure if I must be absolutely clean to be successful at managing my problems.

I need a partner for Chizuk. I need help finding an accountability partner. I need help with the filters. I need help with implementing effective positive-reinforcement and negative-reinforcement mechanisms, or similar mechanisms, such as TaPHSiC maybe, for example. I need "Recovery Homework", such as "read Chizuk emails for 10 minutes a day" or "arrange to speak with your partner for 15 minutes every day about your progress", etc.

Here is how I currently “administer” my “12-step program” or my “recovery model”

1.      I decided I want to put temptation as far away from me as possible. I struggle with masturbation, especially doing so while watching pornography.

2.      I tried to have filtered Internet access, where I don’t know the password. K9 is pretty good.

3.      I classify all activities one could do as either productive, not productive, or counter-productive activity – a productive activity is something that adds positivity. It makes one functional and ultimately happy. A non-productive activity doesn’t add positivity but also doesn’t add negativity, or the negativity is minimal. A counter-productive activity is negative – it makes one dysfunctional and ultimately unhappy. Examples of positive activities are trimming one’s nails, taking a showering, doing dishes, washing laundry, eating dinner, exercising, taking out the garbage, working for money, shopping, etc. Examples of counter-productive activities are usually engaging in the addiction or placing oneself at high risk for engaging in the addiction. High risk behaviors that have led me to masturbate, with or without porn, or, in some cases,  lack of behavior,  include: not having a filter on a computer, touching one’s privates when urinating or in the shower, unless it’s absolutely necessary, being upset or depressed about something so I feel a need to relieve stress, not being tired enough to easily fall asleep, due to not getting enough exercise, lying down randomly in my bed in the middle of the day, focusing on a sexual fantasy, instead of trying to let go of it, etc. My goal is that every time I feel tempted to engage in an addictive behavior that instead I do something else on my list that I know is productive. Then there’s praying to Hashem, which you can always do. I think if I can push off the addictive activity for long enough for the temptation to go away, then I’m well on my way to managing things well. Because if I can push it off once, I can push it off again. I can push it off as many times as I need to.

I'm not sure what activities are "non-productive". If listening to music, meditating, and sleeping, for example, rejuvenate me and make me more functional, I consider those productive activities.

I should probably so through literature from SA each day to help guide my management / recovery.

Welcome brother 
Recovery should be with Hatzlacha

Thanks for the post/share sorry to hear about all the problems...

One thought while I was reading was that maybe you are trying to take on to much at once.
Look for a fellow named Markz in his sig. is a nice trucking story read for more clarity on what I mean.

Please keep us "posted" :-P

hi welcome
you seem very motivated that's good
one thing you said you want a wife like instead of masturbation or something like that
it doesn't work like that if you are an addict you have to kick the addiction marriage won't help
(me and many others have tried)
good luck

Hi thereishope and yes there is hope! 

WOW!!!! Ok, i need to take a deep breath after i read your post. Sometimes slowing down helps me think!

I saw a lot of "I NEED" in your post. It seems you know EXACTLY what to do. Do you? Isnt that what we tried all along? We just did what we wanted and look where that ended up? Also every thing you needed was someone outside your self. I need a wife, a sponsor, a rabbi etc. For me, no one can make me better, help me recover, it has to be me that recovers. It has to come from within. The willingness and the work. They obviously guide us and help us but when it comes down to the nitty gritty, its my responsibility. I am responsible for my own recovery. Not my sponsor or rabbi. No one. 

I am in SA and SA has really helped me. If you would like you can email me dms1234ongye@gmail.com. I'm open to speaking on the phone too. 

Hatzlacha. One day at a time, step by step. 

Hi,  Welcome.  You have come to the right place.  Have you discussed this with a Rav, therapist, or anyone else for that matter.  What are your main triggers?  Lonliness, Anger, Resentment, Stress.

For long-term success, you need to address the underlying issues.  Check out Dr. Sorotzkins article on the "Psycological Factors of Acting Out" (or something like that)  It is on this website, or you can find it on Dr. Sorotzkins website.

Making friends, having healthy relationships can help.  Opening up to a real person can help.

Taphsic, reading chizzuk emails.  They are helpful, but not long-term solutions in my opinion.  

Hatzlacha rabbah.  Keep us posted on your progress.