Since October 2013 I have been clean for about 7 months. Now I am back at my regime of sinning about twice a week. The sin is not obsession and it does not damage me. But I understand that the spiritual damage is tremendous.

I do not know where to restart. Should I try to beat that issue? Where can I get help on other issues like depression, loneliness and disability and inability to find a job?

Welcome! Posting here on gye and staying out of isolation can be a huge help regarding loneliness and depression. We sometimes feel depressed after a fall not realizing its the yetzer hara trying to stop us from learning from our past mistakes to move forward in life. He wants us to be sad and down because then we not only don't move forward, but we regress as well. You mention that in the past you made it 7 months clean. What methods did you use then? Maybe it would help to sit down and upgrade those ideas and make them stronger for the future. The name of the game is being proactive and taking this battle one day, even just one moment, at a time. Keep on posting! Hatzlacha raba in the job search, i understand that it can be very difficult, but be"h it'll all work out. You can do it!

Perhaps, see a therapist?

Get a mentor/sponsor/friend/listener/pumper upper/coach

Thanks for your support. I will pray to G-d to help me.

dms1234 wrote:


I have an Orthodox Jewish therapist, but he is far -- I have seen him thrice in one year.

praying to god is amazing, but you also have to do positive actions of change, praying while u are watching doesn't really help b/c it shows that u still want to act out. do you have a filter? also what does acting out mean? does it mean porn, masturbation etc.?

I am trying to minimize my sin -- I never look at adult materials except 19th century paintings.

I still commit the sin about once a week but I rarely think these thoughts.

I have many other problems with my life.  I do not know where to restart.