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TOPIC: Marriage 16173 Views

Re: Marriage 25 Mar 2015 18:55 #251227

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GEVALDIG!!!!

and your very welcome!!

Re: Marriage 25 Mar 2015 19:01 #251229

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DD ! 45 days !! You're doing great !!! KUTGW !!!!

Re: Marriage 28 Mar 2015 20:02 #251421

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"TEMPTATION is subtle and powerful, and is regarded as an enemy; but it is only an enemy in the
sense that THE ONE TEMPTED IS HIS OWN ENEMY. In the sense that it is the revealer of weakness
and impurity ,IT IS A FRIEND,a necessary factor in spiritual training. It is, indeed, an accom-
paniment of the effort to overcome evil and apprehend good. To be successfully conquered, the evil in man must come to the surface and present itself, and it is temptation that the evil hidden in the heart stands revealed and exposed."

"It can scarcely be said of the merely animal man that he is tempted, for the very presence of temptation means that there is a striving for a purer state. Animal desire and gratification is the normal condition of the man who has not yet risen into aspiration. He
wishes for nothing more, nothing better, than his sensual enjoyments, and is, for the present, satisfied. Such a man cannot be tempted to fall, for he has not yet risen."

"While a man continues to run away from outward objects, under the delusion that temptation subsists entirely in them, and does not attack and purge away his impure imaginings, his temptations will increase, and his falls will be many and grievous. When a man clearly perceives that the evil is within and not without, then his progress will be rapid, his temptations will decrease, and the final overcoming of all temptations will be well within the range of his spiritual vision."

"The stronger a man's passions [i.e. lust,hatred,anger,covetousness(לא תחמוד),pride,vanity,greed,revenge,envy,back-biting (אונאת דברים),lying,theft,deceit,treachery(מכה רעהו בסתר),cruelty,suspicion,jealousy], the fiercer
will be his temptations; the deeper his selfishness,the more subtle his temptations; the more pronounced his vanity, the more flattering and deceptive his temptations.

"LET THE TEMPTED ONE KNOW THIS : That he himself is both tempter and tempted; that all his enemies are within; that the flatterers which seduce, the taunts that stab, and the flames
which burn, all spring from that inner region of ignorance and error in which he has hitherto lived. Knowing this, let him be assured of complete victory over evil. When he is sorely tempted, let him not mourn, therefore, but let him rejoice in that his strength is tried and his weakness exposed. For he who truly knows and humbly acknowledges his weakness wil not be slow in setting about the acquisition of strength."
(James Allen,1864-1912)

Re: Marriage 29 Mar 2015 04:42 #251442

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Newaction, I agree with all of this (with the exception maybe of the deeper his selfishness,the more subtle his temptations or maybe I'm just not understanding it's meaning) and I particularly like the second paragraph you quoted. But some here will say that all of this is speaking to the non addict.
Last Edit: 29 Mar 2015 04:43 by Hashivalisesonyishecho.

Re: Marriage 29 Mar 2015 07:56 #251446

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Thank you Hashiva for your insightful comments. i thought about both things you have mentioned. First i did not have time to look up in the dictionary the full meaning of "subtle" and then be "meayen" how they are connected. About the addict stuff even if you can argue that, nevertheless there is a lot of truth running from top to bottom in these ideas. Especially that always as a rule in life we should look inside us for all the things that bother us and never outside .
Hashivali i see that you are becoming a veteran in gye i am very happy for you , i wish you hatzlacha in your endeavors and in your journey to sobriety. I still remember the day when you posted you were not sure you came to the right place; it was 5 am here in E.Y.I was going to rest a bit but Hashem made me write to you . I think it was a friday morning. Anyways KUTGW !! behatzlacha !!!

Re: Marriage 29 Mar 2015 14:42 #251450

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Yes newaction, and I am deeply thankful to you for that.

The second paragraph, which I said I like, says that those who live in lust, have not yet found their real self. This is like what I say about having a 'void'.

The general gist of what he is saying is that we can take care of ourselves and deal with our temptations, which is very different from what many here say that we must recognize that we are powerless.

I have thoughts on the matter which I am hoping some day to have a chance to clarify by discussion with some of the chevra here.

Re: Marriage 29 Mar 2015 16:47 #251458

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I think that we can read in the words that we can take care of ourselves and deal with our passions ( all negative traits that we may have , resentments , pride, etc., etc., ) which feed the temptations.
Also the last sentence says that when we acknowledge our weakness we can acquire strength.
For me it was important to reiterate that the temptation is not the billboard or the woman but i myself am the tempter and the tempted . It is a revolutionary idea that i dont think the plain person in the street has thought about it in this way.

At the same token the 'בעש"ט הק says on ולא יכלו לשתות מים ממרה כי מרים הם. He says that the word הם doesnt refer to the water. But to the people . They were bitter so the water tasted bitter.
It all boils down to one thing and one thing only. What troubles you is never outside but always look inside yourself. And that is the right way to live. That will make us love EVERYbody , accept everything and be happy with our life.
מי האיש החפץ חיים ? The answer is אוהב ימים love your days love your life and לראות טוב only look at the good in everything ; and this will lead you to keep the rest נצור לשונך מרע etc., You will not talk L"H , no need to lie , stay away from bad and always do good. Behatzlacha. !!

Re: Marriage 22 Apr 2015 10:11 #252851

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The AA 12 steps could be traced to Torah concepts without much difficulty.The following explanation according to Chasidic Torah and Kabalah Masters could be one source. The Tzadik
מאיר שלום אבד"ק פאריסאב זצק"ל says that the תיקון for חטאת נעורים is mainly to have utmost humility .In his words להיות לב האדם נשבר. This works this way : According to the Kabbalah and it is also brought down by The Rav Nefesh Hachahim (Volozhin) and Rabi Moshe Cordovero ( The Rama"k) that the whole creation is being renewed every hour and every minute.The world that you see now is a completely new creation from a minute ago.There is a constant התחדשות. I will quote his words :
כי הקב"ה מחדש בכל עת ורגע את כל העולם,וכשהאדם הוא בעיניו לאין ממש אז הוא בבחינת
יפשוט צורה וילבוש צורה, ויכול לקבל בכל עת ורגע חיות חדש.משא"כ כשהוא בבחינת יש
והקב"ה רוצה לחדש עולמו הקב"ה משפילו. וכו

Meaning that Hashem Yitbarach recreates the world and recreates the person's spirit anew and this is happening constantly every hour on the hour. But in order for this personal change to happen , the person has to be very humble ("turn his will and his life to the care of G.od").

I can compare this to an army of thousands of soldiers.But something peculiar about this army is that the chief commander is giving and upgrading the soldiers ranks every day . The chief nominates :capes, sergeants,colonels lieutenants every day to whom He thinks deserves it . But under one condition , the soldiers must not wear the ranks on their shoulders. Anybody who holds to his rank and displays it , will not get promoted.

The same with us , anybody who holds dearly unto his ego his "this is ME", will not advance ,will not get a promotion. But if he lets go and let G.od , Hashem will Mechadesh your person and your spirit, your body and neshama and you actually are reborn , recreated anew. And you go free braking the chains of your past slavery. Hatzlacha to all .

Re: Marriage 07 May 2015 18:54 #254126

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אברהם חברנו חזר השיבה כבראשונה חשקה נפשי ללמוד תורה
ומתי אעשה גם אנכי לביתי
וצדיק, באמונתו-יחיה
ה עוז לעמו יתן
ה יברך את עמו בשלום

Re: Marriage 07 May 2015 19:31 #254129

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ב"ה לא חרשתי בעגלתך וע"כ לא מצאתי חידתך

Re: Marriage 01 Jul 2015 21:59 #258383

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For the sake of honesty i will report that i had a fall according to the paradigms of gye. at about 300 days of sobriety i saw in a device which was not filtered images that are not accepted period. There was no M. and no spilling seed, i am almost one year clean for that matter. Nevertheless the day i fell i started counting again my clean days; so to my credit i picked up myself right a way , no delays . after that episode watching my eyes became extremely difficult , B"H i still watch my eyes to this day.
I remember being angry at somebody and talking L"H about two others. I think these were the final triggers. I will learn from all of this for the future . Wishing everyone Hatzlacha in your journeys , and Keep On Trucking everybody , i promise it is worth it.

Re: Marriage 01 Jul 2015 23:45 #258397

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Wow Great to hear from you NewAction!!!

Thanks for sharing you honesty and positive attitude is a huge chizuk to all!!!

KUTGW!!!

Re: Marriage 02 Jul 2015 07:08 #258429

  • Palti-Yossef
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Thank you very much for your honesty, it is really precious !
Happy to hear you get up just after !

Hoping to hear more of you !

Re: Marriage 20 Jul 2015 19:25 #259882

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NA,
news from you would be very appreciated, if you have time !
In my own level, I have a lot of difficulties since my fall and heard about someone strong even after a little down would be precious, very precious..!

Any way I hope you're well !

Re: Marriage 30 Jul 2015 20:23 #260591

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For anybody reading this it may help him know that last week i celebrated a year of not spilling z"l. in that same year i fell only once in watching inappropriate material.
But in that same year i guarded my eyes from looking at women (any parts of them).
Know please that i am not in my 20's. zera levatala and looking were part of me for something like four (4) decades maybe more. Never stopped.
The year is not really a year .It is the sum of all the days that make it. Every day had 24 hrs and every hour had 60 minutes. one minute,one hour and one day at a time. The amazing of this is that i was aware of my hours and days and can recall my successes and my crises. This awareness is amazing to me , something new in any horizon i had known. I thank Hashem אבינו שבשמים that with His Love that is Infinite אשר לא ידח ממנו נידח made it so that i found out about his שליחים נאמנים which are Guard Your Eyes. I am writing this for anybody struggling,
look at me gazing at women almost half a century; and with the right approach, tools and techniques (that i am still learning , the road has just started for me ) it is possible to rewire your brain circuits in a different way. Old dogs dont learn new tricks; that is correct. We are not dogs , we are human beings the dearest children of Hashem . Deep inside us we want to elevate ourselves to new heights. צמאה נפשי לא-ל חי . Hashem gave us this sickness alright but at the same time He implanted in us a thirst for the good and the noble, for His closeness . No need to hold yourself , let loose your yearning , let your true desire burn with such flames that consume all the undesirable . Embrace humility without fear.
לפני מי אתם מתטהרין? לפני אבינו שבשמים. I got carried away. Hatzlacha to all members of GYE and to klal Yisrael.
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