This is what so many people say - they sing my praises they are so proud of me - they think I'm living the ideal life.

They do not know that I spent hours and hours planning and planning how I can get more sexual favours from my wife.

How I lusted over a 75 year old almost retired female doctor (I'm 30) and convinced I had a problem with my genitals ..and ejaculated whilst she examined me.

When she sees me she still praises me "Doctor you are such a good man"

I feel sick I feel like jeckle and hide!!


Help I want to Tocho k"Baro

Charlie

Welcome again.

so, what's your first step gonna be?

cordnoy wrote:


He already took 2 steps:
1. Recognizing the problem
and
2. Coming here and sharing

Keep on going Doc, ur on the right track!

Sometimes your sharing can have the effect of galvanizing others to do teshuva even though maybe they previously felt it would be too difficult or such but with people like you coming and saying...."look ive had these experiances and all i want is to return and do teshuva" this really gives the chizuk!! And that is one of the steps in rectifying these problems

Hi there and welcome!!

I emphasize you a lot, for I have this double life as well (as I guess many of us):
Perfect charedi, wonderfull family, parnassa (on my way to dr.med.).....if they would only know of the things I do when im alone....hard to imagine what the results were...in all aspects of my life!!

I'm quite new here ( few weeks), but one of the things i have got from this place is- the fact that we are here , willing to stand up against that great lust/desire/yezer hara /(call it what u want), is a big step trought recovery!!

Behazlacha!!