I had an accident this morning I switched to a new CPAP machine and the mask had been leaking like a sieve My quality sleep has been lousy and I just went down my usual rabbit hole this morning I know that I have a long good streak but I am susceptible to emotional triggers ups and downs 

i am trying to stay clean. but there is such a lack of tzius in the neighborhood. Trying to not lust after them and fall off

Still very depressed re my CPAP machine and spent too much time on my computer on the wrong searches. Hoping things will improve 

Still depressed re CPAP machine and spent too much time in wrong sites on net Hoping to crawl out of the rabbit hole soon 

Still very depressed re CPAP issue ad spent too much time in rabbit hole 

It has been a rough couple of days The new CPAP machine is giving me fits and causing me time off from work which gives me too much of an opportunity to go down the rabbit hole in a bad way

You are an inspiration! May you get good and healthy sleep and have positive thoughts and actions!!

This morning BH I felt much better than I have in a while. The CPAP issue appears to have been resolved with adjustments on the mask and the pressure and after a recent downward slide, triggered by the CPAP issue but also by the fact that long standing issues of my siblings really began to bother me by their engaging in what I think are pretextual behavior of basically responding to texts  and really expressing no interest in seeing our family  since the passing of a dear aunt, who I had  a very close relationship  and my mom ZL, who clearly engaged in favoritism BH I have a wonderful Eshes Chayil, children and eineklach and a job which can be boring when it is not interesting . We have wonderful friends, and I am forever grateful to this wonderful site for helping me get out of the rabbit hole that beckoned to me 

So far I have remained physically clean , but something inside me triggered and  caused me to go down the rabbit hole and visit the wrong websites which once you saw them, you easily remember what attracted you there in the first place. The CPAP issue is resolved in the sense that I now have the right mask,but there is no doubt when you sleep on your back, you will wake up physically aroused and  when you work in Manhattan in the summer you have to deal with the fact that for many women, summer attire means less is more and less becomes less as the end of the week approaches. You really have to adopt the basic Halacha of Hilcos Chanuka to survive Manhattan in the summer

This morning, instead of reading shmutz, I went to the good websites that I view and comment on and I felt much more positive about myself.

Last fall, I received an email from GYE about "His Last Mission", the last book written by R Dr Twerski ZL ZYA, without whom and the founders of GYE, none of us would be here writing about this subject. I had some free time in the office this afternoon , am reading and have been inspired by the book immeasurably. 

I just got it this week - and I've read a bit of it - very helpful in understanding the nature of and solutions to - addiction.