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So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger

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TOPIC: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 28951 Views

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 21 Jun 2016 22:08 #290492

sib101854 Current streak: 4064 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 514 Karma: 25	I didn't retreat down the twin holes of porn and masturbation-but I would have been so in the past.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 21 Jun 2016 23:35 #290501

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heiligeryid wrote on 04 Jan 2016 14:51:

The same thing happened to me afew days ago, when i opened my email and it showed up messages from sites that i have visited in the past. I pressed delete forever, but the next day i saw it again, until i found the unsubscribe option that will hopefully stop it completely.

I am painfully reliving a 20-year-old (or so ) event, when I clicked on an image in an email from a non observant friend and was for the first time exposed to porn.

The Web and email were not as sophisticated as they are now, and neither was the 4-second video I saw, but it was the start of my downfall.

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Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 11 Aug 2016 00:03 #293657

sib101854
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I almost tripped today. I had a doctor's appointment together with my Ashes Chayil today and while she was in with the doctor I looked for something normal to read. Obviously, the glossy fashion magazines were a no-go. I opened one magazine which had an article and rapidly closed it when I realized that the topic and pictures were definitely a trigger in the past-especially with My Eshes Chayl being out of town for parts of the next two weeks vising her cousin and our aineklach, In the past, being home alone would have sent me down the two rabbit holes of porn and masturbation, I am determined to remain Tahor no matter what.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 22 Nov 2018 11:47 #337388

sib101854 Current streak: 4064 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 514 Karma: 25	The key is remembering that an iPhone is like a PC in your hand and that even sites that you like for their news and opinion pages have very inappropriate content that with one click you will be facing a trigger. I had one experience like that but I closed it very fast and the next time that I accessed that site I stayed away from that page. It’s a daily battle out there but so far so good

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 11 Dec 2018 21:32 #337794

sib101854 Current streak: 4064 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 514 Karma: 25	I think that one of the biggest challenges that we all face is that when we check out the news on a seemingly appropriate site, we will be visually struck by a link that is clearly inappropriate and that you will linger on for a few minutes. It has happened to me but I have learned to click away from such sites. so far, that has enabled me to stay Tahor

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 06 Jan 2019 11:36 #338229

sib101854 Current streak: 4064 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 514 Karma: 25	When you think you are on even a great website for news be careful.I was on such a site for news last night clicked the wrong page twice but clicked out very quickly

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 23 Jan 2019 20:41 #338620

sib101854
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When I say that the best websites re news and politics have questionable links, that problem becomes more magnified on a phone as opposed to a PC. I find myself on the best news and politics websites clicking for a moment and out of links that are not shmutz but which could lead down the rabbit hole of shmutz. So far, I have been tahor. I have gotten up from seats on the subway when the content of a rider sitting next me is inappropriate. There is no easy answer other than recognizing that one has to work on the issue one day at a time.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 19 Mar 2019 21:49 #339826

sib101854 Current streak: 4064 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 514 Karma: 25	For me, every day is a realization that even so called safe sites especially on an I phone which is a miniature {PC can have triggers that can lead you down the wrong path. If you use the phone to wake you up in the morning, don't keep it near your bed and don't look at your phone before you go to sleep.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 31 May 2019 19:01 #341564

sib101854
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See my prior comments re the so called best sites for news. Many sites that have the best news also have potential triggers that you can send you in the wrong direction. As summer is here in late May there is no doubt that the streets and mass transit in NY tend to look like a beach and the fulfillment of the slogan that "less is more." Every day and moment can cause you to trip or fall but if you look at even a questionable image, your best choice would be to click out and move on. Looking at each day as a different Avodah rather than a milestone has helped me stay Tahor.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 20 Sep 2019 19:43 #343686

sib101854
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I haven't posted in a while and it is rather quiet and slow so today is a good day. as I continue to celebrate being Tahor and the effort it takes to do so, I have always had a strong interest in politics and we gave up the NTY once we realized it was a poor newspaper in many regards. The WSJ is excellent . On line I have realized that you have to be equally careful. There is a great website with great news and columns but which contains far too much in terms of celebrity gossip and Instragram pages which I discovered are very problematic. I found other sites with far better coverage and far less celebrity junk pages. The problem with Instagram pages is that aside from being narcissistic and extraordinarilly self absorbed , they can be a trigger . I realized very quicklly that such pages should be avoided as much as human possible and if that you do open a page get out ASAP.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 06 Dec 2019 19:56 #345812

sib101854 Current streak: 4064 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 514 Karma: 25	So far so good and still Tahor here is the dilemma if you are interested in politics and sports certain websites and papers have both in print and on line The problem is skipping over links to Instragram and finding alternative sites Any ideas?

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 19 Dec 2020 23:27 #359088

yeshivaguy Current streak: 6 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1493 Karma: 148	How u been? Please share with us any eitza or chizzuk

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 19 Dec 2020 23:29 #359089

yeshivaguy
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SIB101854 wrote on 06 May 2014 17:02:

Since I have been here, I have enjoyed more than 270 days of Taharah, increased emotional intimacy with my Eshes Chayil, and a realization of what counts in life. It has been great so far. Last week, we had an avalance of home repairs , bills for communal obligations, and my Eshes Chayil was so busy with some chesed obligations for a close friend that we basically had a store bought Shabbos which I don't enjoy. I think that my kvethching about what needed to be done in the house and Shabbos ticked off my wife and it impacted adversely on our physical intimacy as well. Last night, my Eshes Chayil went to a dinner that I was not interested in , and I was able to both avoid porn and masturbation, which I would not have been able to in the past. My boss has been away for a day and probably most of today. In the past, I would have surfed a large number of porn sites, but I am going to avoid doing that as part of my committment to remaining Tahor.

Amazing! Such a Gibbor!

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 30 Jan 2021 23:23 #362286

yeshivaguy Current streak: 6 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1493 Karma: 148	How u been?

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 20 Sep 2021 14:51 #372597

sib101854 Current streak: 4064 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 514 Karma: 25	I have almost had a fall two nights in a row but I am fighting. I have not watched or read any porn but my difficulty is caused by the fact that I must use a CPAP device for sleep apnea and I must sleep on my back. That results in waking up with physical desire. I have had immense mazal in not giving in until the last two nights and I have not had a fall but I am fighting it actively.