yishmoreininow wrote:


In my sick view, all women that are the least bit friendly are "kinda being seductive." Because that's what I want need to believe. Because it gives me a more potent hit of the lust drug than just looking.

Learning to recognize lust in all its forms, and aggressively avoiding it, will go a long way towards a happy life.

wow u really hit it on the nail. Anytime a woman talks with a sing song I view it as a come on (hope that's not a bad word). So how does one change that way of thinking? Get ear plugs?

It took me a long time to realize that when a woman is being friendly, or even a little seductive, it doesn't mean she wants me. Women are by nature friendly and a little seductive. Like I said, it's my mind that turns it into a whole mutual lust that is really one-sided: I'm lusting for her, and she's being herself.

To answer your question, I don't think we can change this way of thinking by itself. Rather, it must be the natural outgrowth of a new attitude towards lust and towards women. An attitude in which we realize that lust is poison to us and therefore must be avoided, a habit of not looking at women and limiting our interactions with them to the best of our ability, and beginning to view women as people and not lust objects.

How to do all this? Daven! And do take it one episode at a time.

I agree that they're people but I also see them as objects, I think.