Yanki
I remember her! Sure I do. She even wrote "me" a letter. What does Esti say? "Beeeee-Shessssss"! The whole affair is too mortifying to think about.
Mommy's like, "You probably don't remember her - she babysat for Esti only once". Mommy doesn't remember? What's with HER?! Totty didn't say anything, just sat quietly on the side.
First of all, she's 23. I just turned 21. Second of all, what are they asking me for? I always thought shideechim was their department. Third, doesn't she remember Totty throwing her out of the house. Oh, I get it now, she was never paid for babysitting and wants the money now…
Haha
I don't understand why anyone's pushing this shidduch, it's plain ridiculous. Totty's not allowed into America, he'll get arrested, and why would she want to have a wedding here without her family?
Yoish. I think this calls for Rebbe Rabbi Doctor Weinfeld.

Boruch
"Alice doesn't appreciate when the duchess comes too close to her because the duchess is so very ugly." Yeah, I'm studying Lewis Carroll's books about Alice [y'know- of Wonderland (no one knows what her last name is. Hold it, Winnie the Pooh's last name is "Robin" like Christopher? And Curious George's- never mind. The Berenstain bears are Berenstains (they don't really have first names though :P)]. There are two of them; Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. Apparently, that's all Esti reads and Harumph! She wasn't there by the seedih. DADA.
Never mind, Yanki's mother ain't so bad herself [she actually looks more like Barbie than her daughter because her sheitel is more Barbie styled than Esti's pony (I sneaked some more peeks at pics when I was at the house). I never got the whole inyan with sheitelach that are nicer than hair, you know. That's like covering the tefach megulah (mentioned by the gemara in the same breath as seiar megulah) with see-through nylon or something, I mean, come on! (yups! Alice doesn't like when they tell her "come on"- watch me! by the time I meet up with Esti I'll know the books by heart!)]. Yah so what was I saying? Oh that Yanki's mother is pretty, and it was cool, because she was like shmoozing with me because I'm her son's friend you know.
Yanki's father is real nice. He's a chassidisher ehrliche yid, he's freilich with a Shabbos. You know I like Heeteroigeners, I think that if a Bardichever is in Yerushalayim the closest he can feel to Bardichev is in Heeteroigen. I think I'll check out the tish with Yanki next week (I hear that they even sing some Bardichever niggunim, but then again they also sing Novardikker niggunim, so I'm not sure what that means…). Back to Alice in Wonderland- on the way out Yanki pointed to the two dog-eared books lying on the couch and asked me if I "also am crazy over this mishigaas". I wasn't quite sure what the meshigaas entailed but if it involved Esti I was in. So I said of course [Zicher! Avadde!] turns out it's Lewis Carroll's books, and I didn't even lie, cuz had I been exposed to them earlier I would've been addicted as as as, never mind. I would've been totally addicted. I am now. "Beware the Jabberwock my son!"

Esti
Dear Diary.
Problem. Major problem. Shaindel asked me if I wanna spend the afternoon in Altshtoot with her. "Di Amerikanneh hubben vehkayshin zintug" she's funny. We went. We had fun, no we had sooooo much fun!!!! Green grass. Stones. I'm exhausted that's why I'm not going into full detail. But it involved asking a Chinese woman to take pictures of us near the choma, and then explaining to her that we didn't mean to give her the camera as a present and we are NOT Israel's ambassadors. Finally some American seminary girls passed and they took pictures of us. Baruch Hashem.
Anyway, re the part I AM going into detail about; Bee-shesssssssssssss!!! By Kever Dovid Shaindel gets like all animated about the drama between Shaul and Yehonasan, and I'm like: You sound like Morah Nechama. Shaindel starts laughing, like LAFFEEEEEEEEEENG and hugs me. And I'm like; what? So she laughs harder. So I'm like, k, wanna tell me what's going on? And then she sees I'm serious and she's like: "Dee veisst neesht az zeez mein mammeh?" Omg, It can't beeeeeeee, she's so pretty, and so NORMAL.
Yoish this is embarrassing but hey, I could have said worse. I think I need a dmc with DeLay tonight.
-Morah Nechama's disciple, Esther Bas Chana v'Yosef Hersh Friedshtayn
P.S. Cousin Sara is coming to Israel this week- never saw her, she's my mother's first cousin and comes from some hick town in America where there's almost no jews, it's called Ellay, or something like that. Can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yanki
Interesting. There's this rebbish einikel from the renowned Taubski Mishpacha who's a world famous psychologist and specialist in addiction. Reb Yechezkel studied addiction under his son-in-law a man named "Rabbi" Akiva Pinchas Schwartz [these doctors that wear strukkes!] Apparently they were discussing how sometimes an alcoholic who is sober is much healthier in his relationships, and has considerably better mentchlichkeit, than a "regular" "healthy" person. Rebbi Weinfeld mentioned that he knows someone six years in recovery, who was a raging addict with a horrible personality and is today the nicest person he knows. So they started talking about my father, and then about me. And… sounds like it just "might" work.
I don't want to wear strukkes. I don't want to wear that yellow kaftan my father put on here, I just want a regular black bekishe, a regular shtreimel. I want to be n o r m a l.

Stanley Hastings. That's what dad's name was up until the age of eighteen. That's how old he was when he left the West Side of Manhattan to innocently "experience a Brooklyn Shabbat". He never looked back.
He found his place in the loving community of Bardichev and was completely enamored by its dynamic Rebbe Z"l. The Rebbe took "der Mahn-hettener bachur" under his wing and brought him closer to the yiddishkeit we were brought up in, but was so foreign and distant to my dad. He changed his name to Shabsi [the Rebbe (based on a Tosafos in Gittin) taught him the correct way to spell it, so that it's a Jewish name and not that of a demon], a while later he did away with Hastings as well, adopting instead the name of the prominent Bardichever family he lived with in Brooklyn.
At the age of 23 he married my mom, a nice Jewish girl from Saratoga Springs, New York. After I was born they had another five children, they were settled, had a nice family, they fit in to the community, people hardly remembered they were BT [smart move in the family name change, dad!] They were happy. I said they.
I was a different story.

Tchebin wrote:
We do NOT mumble in Lizhensk...

Part 9

Chani
Nothing major - A shidduch for Yanki that looks like it's finally going somewhere - A husband that insists that he can have a relapse any moment and has no need for some seminary girl from LA hanging around his face - A young impressionable daughter who is not happy with limudei kodesh at school... Sara has an ipad and a "pink" iphone, why oh why did I invite her?!
Back in the day, when I was the "shiksa" in the family. Leora was the only one I felt comfortable confiding in, the least I can do is accept her daughter with warmth. But still--
They say that if you do chessed and kiruv no bad can come to the family. I really really really hope that's true

Boruch
Oraysah has a Chiddushei haGra"ch miksavyad and from talmidim on Ba"K. I was using the yeshiva's one too much so I got my own. Now I have to figure out the proper way to really wear out its binding so that everyone can see how much I use it. Look, I do all my bein hasdarim learning in the dorm cuz I don't want people in beis medrash to see how much I learn - the least I can do is make sure my seforim appear really worn out. I was thinking to fast today and on Thursday. It's about time I do some teshuva. You know how my thoughts just rush from thing to the next. Yeah, I think that's part of my problem.
Funny thing, when I'm thinking of girls, or fantasizing about sex, my mind stops racing. Boyyyyy is it focused. Interesting thing. But now that I thought of it - lemme focus on sex a little bit…
Ok stop! I will NOT think about girls. Ridiculous. I was clean yesterday after falling motzoei Shabbos (again!). But then at night I decided to take a walk in gan chana. Esti Friedstein is sitting in the park as if it's four in the afternoon. It's eleven o'clock! You're only fourteen! Go to sleep! Idiot! She's sitting on the grass, all cozy! Her skirt is way too tzniusdig though… these chassidish Israeli girls… Shmoozing with this fat girl that sounds like she's from London. I mean, I thought she has taste. Whatever - wanna hang out with fat girls, be my guest.
Hold on. What is wrong with me? What the gehennom is wrong with me?!
There has to be something wrong with me! Do you think normal people think this way? I am weird. I am messed up. Big time. No hope for me. Ucccccccccch.

Yanki
No more Reb Elchonon. Now it's Reb Chaim. Do I really have to tantz noch all his meshigaasen? Why am I getting so annoyed with him?
I'm very tense about the whole Rochi Schwartz Parsha, this Rabbi Doctor guy is coming to Israel to meet with me. I don't like psychologists, they know too much. What I really should do is learn some Bava Kamma, it can only help as far as this meeting/farher is concerned. Yoish.

Esti
Dear Diary,
Do you think I can change classes?
Do you think at all?
If Miss Aurbach made a concert would I receive free passes?
Am I pretty or just tall?

Is Morah Nechama obnoxious and mean?
Do I need to listen to her lecture?
Does tznius mean I'm best left unseen?
Can ANYONE be my mentor?

Am I really writing a poem to my book?
Even worse! Inquiring things of it?
Or am I just so forsook? [forsaken! get it?]
To think my only friend inanimate.

Ok diary I'm very talented and pretty and smart and everything and everything else. And I'm sooooo unhappyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Maybe I'm just tired from last night. Ich gei shloofen.
- Esti

I never really "quite" fit in at Bnos Sora Sosha. I knew my family was different though I couldn't pinpoint exactly in which aspect. There were girls on my block that went to different schools, where classes weren't in Yiddish, where they were allowed to learn about dinosaurs. They were allowed to know who Barney was and what the name of their hometown's sports team was. The school they went to allowed them to dress slightly differently, whatever, Sundays they would play around with glittery nail polish. Not that I needed their mode of dressing, but it was more "Me". My mother hadn't necessarily picked up on all of the community nuances for her children's dress.
My parents didn't see the problem in letting children watch an occasional "educational program" on the prominently displayed VCR in our living room. Oh the VCR, I was embarrassed to have friends from school over, but the girls on the block had their own at home.
I'm not going to go into all of the details of my childhood and all the problems I experienced. The real problems began more recently, in high school. When the Rebbe decided that he want a more "frum" chassidus and began reverse-reforming the girls' school. There was the Mein-Shprach program for Yiddish speaking, the Kedushas Levi in the original Lashoin Koidesh instead of Chafetz Chaim in English, and all the rest…
Then the Rebbe crossed a red line. It started with my friend Chavi...

Chani
Whew! That was close - Just got off the phone with Leora. She's begging me to forgive her but Sara changed her mind about coming. According to Leora it's a combination of the fickle nature of today's youth and a certain young man named Jason. Baruch Hashem I don't need to deal with these problems, but I really need to daven for her. Leora is so nice...
Rabbi Schwartz is coming tomorrow. We never did this before and it's really getting to Heshi. He feels like he's the one having a farher.
Nobody really cares about me. Heshi's worried about this addiction doctor, Yanki's worried about him for different reasons, Esti's upset that Sara's not coming. You know, I haven't seen Devora Leah in a couple of days, did those two get into a fight? Highly likely she's been brooding around a lot lately.
I'm a terrible mother, how could I not notice this?