Same here. A couple of weeks ago Rabbi Shais Taub spoke on Duvid Chaim's phone program. He addressed this topic. Ever since then my life became so much easier B"H. Here are some notes I jotted down from that lecture.

Addiction = allergy of the body & obsession of the mind.
Allergy is non-removeable. Obsession is removeable.
Obsession activates the allergy.
Allergy = phenomenon of craving - only gets activated upon first drink.
Starting to lust is ‘first drink’.
Lust is a behavior, not reflexive.
To notice is normal - unavoidable.
Recovered person also notices but doesn’t lust.
Reaction of lust is avoidable. Conscious decision - deliberate action.
Split second between involuntary and voluntary.
That’s where the battle line is.
Use free choice to not begin lusting.
Even unrecovered addict has this choice.
Obsession convinces him to make wrong choice.
(e.g. Take laxative and will yourself not to go…)
Powerless means obsession tells us to make bad choices.

The seforim also say that the main bechira a person has in this area is to "not take the first drink" ok, ok, so I paraphrased . But even for "normals" chazal tell us that once you get started it is hard to impossible to stop. The battle is not to get started. That battle can be won.

We just tell ourselves it's just a little peek... and before we know it "hey where did all that time go"?

reallygettingthere wrote:


I can't take credit, it's a b'feyrishe Dov.

credit shmedit, you're the one who saidit .