Today was a good day for me because I started praying again. Yet is was difficult as it always is after a bad fall. I feel so bad for what I have done because I feel like I have let my best friend, Hashem, down. Honestly, it breaks my heart how often I have let my friend down. Hashem has always been so good to me over all of these years, He has never allowed me to be homeless, or hungry, or without others to support me. So, with every fall I have had over these years makes it all the more difficult to come back to Hashem in prayer and service. With each fall, it has become harder and harder to approach G-d again because with each fall, I feel I have betrayed the most wonderful relationship any one man can have. Yet, today, I once again picked myself up and began the conversation all over again, and I told myself that I don't have to hide anymore from my friend and Father. I know He understands even when I do not. I know He even forgives me, even when I can not forgive myself. It is so good to say hello to Him once again and to fall into His loving arms once again. I just hope I can stay there this time. I just don't want to disappoint Him anymore or myself. I really know this time I can not beat this thing alone or with out my best friend's help. I must continue to hold on to prayer and continue our conversation every minute of the day if I am to succeed. Without prayer, I have nothing but darkness and loneliness. I am so glad that I haven't forgotten how to pray. And I am so glad Hashem is still there to listen.