Welcome!
I had have similar fetishes and have been to similar websites. In fact, I'm interested in pretty much any kink that involves women and will get me going. It's not the kink, it's my head. It's my need to get my fix of the lust drug. The fetish is just a distraction -- and the hook that keeps me thinking the thoughts that keep me aroused. We sexaholics are addicted to arousal.
After admitting we have a problem, the first step in recovery is to get sober. That means no drug, no drinking, no sipping. What works for me is aggressive shmiras eynayim in all settings combined with relentless surrender of any mental images and fantasies as soon as they come. When I sense my mind trying to go in that direction, I start davening immediately, asking Hashem to take the thought, and my lust, for now. I can't do it by myself. I need Hashem to intervene constantly. In the beginning, the withdrawal is fierce. With time, it gets easier, becomes more automatic. It's still an effort and always will be. I started after 30 years under the influence and have managed four clean years without a slip. That's the key -- not to slip.
Take it one day at a time. Commit and don't ever quit.
Hatzlocha -- and stick around.
Alex
