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TOPIC: In need of support 687 Views

In need of support 06 Feb 2013 10:31 #201900

  • sagewannabe3
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I can't seem to piece together all the puzzle pieces. I can say that after discovering this site I was clean from shmiras anayim for over 365 days straight. I had started the 90 day chart and just kept going. But now, when life gets really stressful and confusing, I find that I can end up falling. I'm starting to feel a sense of despair. In need of support!
Last Edit: 06 Feb 2013 10:31 by sagewannabe3.

Re: In need of support 06 Feb 2013 12:57 #201903

  • powerless
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dear friend,
what can you do to get that extra umphh that you're looking for?
what do you think would help you?

Re: In need of support 08 Feb 2013 00:55 #201953

  • AlexEliezer
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Hello and welcome!

A little more information about what exactly your issues are would be helpful.

There are two parts to breaking free from this (or any) addiction. The first is to get sober, which in our case means not taking in lustful images, guarding our minds from entertaining fantasies, and abstinence from masturbation or other sexual acting out.

The second part is recovery. This is where we work on ourselves, on the personality traits, diseased thinking, and unhealthy relationships that drive us to addictive behaviors. This is what the 12 steps are about.

Re: In need of support 08 Feb 2013 01:20 #201958

  • Divrei Chaim
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Hello, you found the right place.



There are two parts to breaking free from this (or any) addiction. The first is to get sober, which in our case means not taking in lustful images, guarding our minds from entertaining fantasies, and abstinence from masturbation or other sexual acting out.

The second part is recovery. This is where we work on ourselves, on the personality traits, diseased thinking, and unhealthy relationships that drive us to addictive behaviors. This is what the 12 steps are about.


Sur mera is the first part, asse tov is the second.

What are your expectations from sobriety? What did your "acting out" include?


I can say that after discovering this site I was clean from shmiras anayim for over 365 days straight.


I hope you meant "free from znus lanayim" otherwise you were probably on the wrong site.

Re: In need of support 10 Feb 2013 08:21 #202018

  • sagewannabe3
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Thanks for the responses... it's nice to know people out there are listening..

I find that the times that I end up falling are when I get overwhelmed with stress. It's as if this very brief internet viewing is going to rid my stresses. Of course it only adds stress to my life, knowing that I'm falling in other areas...

Re: In need of support 10 Feb 2013 09:51 #202019

  • kosher
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Yes, learning how to deal with stress and how to form healthy relationships are fundamental parts of long term success.

Congrats on your initial success. It certainly bodes well for long term success.

Obviously, you need a plan how to learn those needed skills; the 12-steps are on, therapy is another, perhaps there are other ways to do it (none that I know, though).

Hatlzacha Rabba,
I am not big enough to not do something I WANT to do because I know it is wrong, but I've been around long enough not to want to do many things, even though they are really enticing at the first glance.

Re: In need of support 10 Feb 2013 09:52 #202020

  • kosher
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Yes, learning how to deal with stress and how to form healthy relationships are fundamental parts of long term success.

Congrats on your initial success. It certainly bodes well for long term success.

Obviously, you need a plan how to learn those needed skills; the 12-steps are on, therapy is another, perhaps there are other ways to do it (none that I know, though).

Hatzlacha Rabba,
I am not big enough to not do something I WANT to do because I know it is wrong, but I've been around long enough not to want to do many things, even though they are really enticing at the first glance.

Re: In need of support 10 Feb 2013 21:00 #202030

  • AlexEliezer
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Stress is a common trigger for acting out. Even mild stress.
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