BSD

Sholom aleichem yidden! Its very hard for me to come out of my sheepish shell and write this, and I'm forcing myself to do only because as the GYE welcome page puts it "Once
you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone
here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with
them!"
I'm 21, and have been struggling with m****bation for nearly 7 years. The real problem started when I became involved with p*rn about 3 yrs ago. Besides for a 10 month streak (due to lack of access) my p*rn journey has taken me to the darkest corners of the internet, getting involved with things which would have revolted me before hand- to spare you all the gory details!!-
I have been in therapy anyway, due to my upbringing (quite a troubled childhood), but when today for the second time I started worrying what would happen.. And having suicidal thoughts. I am in touch with a psycotherapist so don't worry!
Today after my last fall, I realised I need to just do this, reach out and ask other yidden, in my situation for chizzuk.
I would like to thank GYE first though, and Hashem, for giving me the opportunity of salvation, and to take this website seriously, not just have a quick look every time I feel a bit guilty after a fall.
Thank You!!

Welcome, Mr. Starting Recovery.

Recovery is lot's of fun, perhaps even more than acting out. Enjoy!!!

(sometimes it's really hard, or hard and fun together, or i don't know what).

For many of us, P&M is (or was) an escape from a painful or stressful reality. As teenagers, we learn to use this to soothe ourselves. We go into a world where everything goes just as I wish it to, and everything feels good.

In recovery, we learn to A ) avoid all forms of lust, and B ) recognize our triggers, what sets us off, why it does so, what about ourselves can we improve so that we can stop with the fantasies and start living real.

I wish you much success in your recovery.

Welcome to the forum!

Alex