hi i am new here, this is what im about
i've been stuck with this addiction for 13 years now, recently it seems like i kind of got a grip a bit im at 194 days b"h and taking it day at a time, i would love your support ,and thanks for having me

Welcomeeeeeeee!!!

194 days?!?! Woww thats awesome!!

You will surely find support here, and we will help you keep on truckin!!

Besiata Dishmaya!!

Woow

194 Days!!

Thats very far and support will arive soon.

keep up

.

ok ,im 27 years old married with a kid. Did my thing in yeshiva now im out there in the world, ive suffered as a child which opened me up to this addiction i tried out a few other addictions this one stuck, anyway recently i got to a point of real desperation so i went to therapy, long story short, i found out about the 12 steps and SA i started to get involved but it was short lived because i moved continents and im really busy , i somehow by the skin of my teeth made it to 196 days without masturbating or looking at porn although ive come mighty close, either way i use the technique of letting go (giving it up to god) from SA and its been magic . However recently i've got past the initial high and its just hard as hell, now everyday i feel like im gonna break, but i do what sa says and im saved , i don't know how much longer i could last, and if i do break there go's my family and job so im seeking some support to help me on my path. i probably should go to meetings that's the truth. anyway that's what I'm about, thanks for your time!

Hey ploni a - as another SA guy in sobriety and recovery like you, I want to thank you for your open and honest post/share!

"I'm not sure how much longer I could last." - ?

My life so far tells me that as long as 'holding on and not acting out' is the objective, that's just being a sitting duck. Why let yourself be that? The duck will not remain sitting forever, and then it's over. How long can you 'go'? Why hold our breath? We know the competition will eventually be lost and we'll need to exhale and breath the putrid air, eventually.

You are obviously the real thing and know recovery well. And I am sure SA did not teach you how to hold your breath. You have tasted positive sobriety and living in the solution rather than in the problem - so you can do it again. You can do it - anyone can if I can. If it means resuming meetings, I wish you hatzlocha in finding good ones and a good sponsor where you now live. Maybe even just finding one other other sincere sexaholic with whom you can start your own meeting...I've done that before and it worked out great, be"H. Hashem is with you and He helps. And if you decide that you need something else, then I wish you the same hatzlocha there, too.

You have a lot of friends.

Say, did I ever meet you in Jersey, amigo?

- Dov

wow. i am really happy you can relate
i feel like my issue could stem from a lack of acceptance of my title 'sexaholic'
i guess during my high i subtly decided that i really don't have this issue, i need to just accept. when i do accept, then like a sick man needs medicine I need meetings/constant support.does anyone have a number for frum SA groups in u.s.a.
keep supporting me, it helps tremendously ,thank ya'll

ploni a wrote:


Surrender is a technique from SA and it works within the context of SA. A lot of people use surrender or tapshic thinking that that will forever be enough, but that usually is not enough for perfect sobriety all by itself. You are familiar with the concept of maris ayin. You avoid behaviors that cause you to believe certain things that you don't want to believe. Surrendering causes you to believe that you need help, that you have no choice but to lust. So it's logical that it works best with a support group and a sponsor. So if you want to continue believing that the desire fundamentally is too much for you to handle without external help then you should go to meetings, get a sponsor and work the steps.

If you are looking for something different I can show you how to go in the opposite direction and get better while believing that you do have a choice (the gemara you learned that says that people have a choice to be tzadik or rasha.) Basically this approach says if you lusted you chose to lust (each time) because deep down you believed it was best for you. It brings out why you thought it was best for you, and then you find out that it's not best. Then you discover that you do have a choice through an experiment, and then the addiction basically stops being a problem. It takes about three weeks.

You can PM me here on GYE about frum SA groups and we will try to get somewhere for you if that's what you want to do.

The 'title' is just a shame issue and being a sexaholic just means you are a type of person who needs special handling. It's just a matter of facing history and learning from it how to move in and live a normal good (great) life. Being in real recovery is like Shabbos: Menuchah....quitting struggling and being a Jew is sweet.

Good Shabbos!

very cool! i didnt know that surrender worked that why i have a lot to learn, dont let the fact that b"h i acheived 200 days today, fool you, i really dont know much about SA or recovery as a whole and i appreciate all of your wisdom and support
i am currently trying find the right group. but just a question, does it make sense that the first 170 days were somewhat easy and since 170 its been murderous?whats the deal?