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You are not to beat yourself up because you have a yetzer hara. Some people desire married women, others men, others animals, and you appreciate sex with kids. Fear of your yetzer hara just gives it strength.

When I was a kid I had fantasies of sleeping with my mother. And my father. And my siblings.

You need to get your power of choice back so you can make sure you never attempt this for real. What kind of recovery options are attractive to you? I can tell you about cognitive self-therapy if you want.

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No way. You feel the way you think. No one can make you feel bad. At the end of the day it's what you tell yourself, and yes it's true that many people allow others to cause them to have those negative thoughts.

I know someone who dealt with this issue & was very successful in moving beyond it. Maybe you want to talk to him now?



What wrote on 29 Nov 2012 02:18:

Read every word and I feel for you. You did the right thing posting here anonymously. We are all on your side.

Hatzlacha!

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Dude I have SSA and I felt that way... (Maybe not like u, I understand it) but as nederman said, you feel the way you think.

I suppose is like the story of the meraguelim, when they went as spies into the Land of Israel.

Thanx for making me understand your situation, it really hurts my heart to know there's a beautiful Jewish neshama suffering like that.

I'm here if u need anything, anytime.

Bli neder ill doven for u.

Keep posting

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Antartic wrote on 30 Nov 2012 06:10:


How do you mean?

What wrote on 30 Nov 2012 08:35:


WSMNB,

I think all of us here recognize, and that, indeed, it's axiomatic, that having a desire that is beyond your control (that you don't act upon) does not make you a bad person.

There is a world of difference between what we think we believe and what we actually believe in the sense that we act on it.

He must have met a lot of people who actually believe the wrong thing.

Dear chaver who tells us he is a pedophile,

We are 100% on your side. And I have a question for you. You wrote "you have no idea how this feels." And then you ask for help from us, or for understanding?

You are right. A normal person probably cannot understand what it is like to be an addict. And neither can they understand what it is like to be a pedophile. Though I am unclear if you are a pedophile - not being an expert in sexual psychology or legal definitions.

But you seem very sincere. And I hope you find you find safe people to speak with about this issue you have and get the help you need.

Finally, I know of a pedophile or two who are in real recovery in twelve step groups about sexual addiction. They do find a non-judgmental place there, and get help to recover while they getting whatever professional help they need.

But this forum is a dubious place to find any help for your problem of understanding and acceptance in the community - for here we all are using fake names and hiding in a virtual world! So few of us use our real names or call each other on our phones and make real relationships for recovery with each other. Apparently we are practically as outcast - or afraid of being as outcast - as you are!

You raise a good point, but how can we help you if we are not coming out - even to each other - ourselves?

You are choshuv as a person and as a Jew. You are trying to change...or at least interested in trying to change. ....have you actually gotten any professional help yet? Or is this still in the planning phases?

Hatzlocha!!

(and good Shabbos!)

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